Enjoying Myself

October 29, 2018

“I had a delightful evening.” 

“That’s good.”

“No; that’s bad.”

“You’re rethinking your decision, aren’t you?”

“Yep.”

I had just returned home from an evening visiting a woman in the hospital and a gentleman scheduled for tests Wednesday. My goal was to minister to them, but in fact, they were the ones ministering to me. Between the both of them, we talked for a couple hours, and when I finally turned the key in the ignition to go home, it was with a full heart. I’m pretty much an introvert, but as Inigo Montoya said in the Princess Bride, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." I’m an introvert; It isn’t that I don’t like people. It’s that I don’t like crowds. One on one, I am fascinated by people, and tonight’s ministry was definitely a two-way street for me.

I’ve often wondered why God called this introvert into this business. I watch pastors who are at home in the crowd, working it like a master politician. I stumble and stammer before retreating to the sidelines where I can fade into the wallpaper. With only one or two, it’s an entirely different game, especially if that one or two loves to talk.

There are times when I long for retirement. Going back to work has put a crimp in my plans; the bathroom remodeling project in which I’m immersed should be done by now. Instead, it’s going to be another couple weeks at least before it’s done. My mind was made up; it’s time to pull the plug. In one of this evening’s conversations, I was asked what I did for those three years I was retired. “I enjoyed myself.” 

“You didn’t even have to think about that,” my friend responded, laughing. Truth is, I’m enjoying myself now, too. I love preaching; spending time with my people gives me a sense of fulfillment. 

“Have you prayed about this, or did you just make the decision on your own?” Linda has the biggest stake in all this. My continuing to work impacts her more than anyone else. The responsibilities of the job place constraints on her as much as on me. She asked the question, and my answer was that I haven’t really prayed about it. I just know that sometimes I get tired of the responsibility and work. Then there are those other times like tonight, when the work is sheer joy. So, I’m back in the land of indecision. I guess it’s time to start praying about it. In the meantime, I’m grateful for the opportunity I had tonight to spend time with some wonderful people, talking and praying together. They thanked me for coming. I thank them for sharing their lives with me. They aren’t just church members; they are friends, and I am blessed by them.