Over the past twenty five years or so, it has become quite common for churches to utilize spiritual gift inventories to determine where and how Christians engage in ministry. It began back in the '70s with Ray Stedman's book "Body Life," which enumerated various gifts of the Holy Spirit as outlined in a few choice Scriptures. His book spawned hundreds of others, as authors suddenly discovered people were hungry for ministries that fit their personalities and temperaments, instead of finding themselves shoehorned into ministry that just didn't seem to fit. The spiritual gifts model for ministry has helped countless people engage in service to Christ that is meaningful and satisfying. It has been immensely helpful to me, explaining why some types of ministry have worked for me, and why some just never get off the ground.
There is a danger however, in over-utilizing a spiritual gifts model of ministry. Although those who write spiritual gift curricula and inventories are careful to remind people that their materials are not the end-all in ministry (The Saddleback church takes great pains to tell the people using their material that foundational to spiritual gift-based ministry is the prior willingness to serve anywhere.), it is always tempting to limit one's service to those areas where we feel comfortable, believing that God surely wouldn't ask us to do something for which we are not suited. I've not found that to be true. God doesn't seem to particularly care how comfortable we feel about ministry. In fact, he seems to take great delight in calling us to service so far out of our comfort zone, we can't even find it.
That's what prison ministry is like for me. We are thrust into a group of men with whom I haven't much in common, and immediately have to mix it up with them. Our time together is limited, so we get right at it. I am not comfortable in large crowds. I can't hear well, and introverted me doesn't do well with small talk. And in prison, you don't get far asking what they do for a living, or how their day was. I keep telling myself that I'm not ever doing this again, but then over the course of the weekend, I see how God is orchestrating things to change lives, till I start asking, "How can I possibly miss out on all this?" I feel like a fish out of water, but it's not about me or my comfort; it's about obeying God.
I don't know what the Lord has in store for me with this ministry. I'd prefer to not do it, just because I prefer things for which I feel more suited. The other guys on team are so excited about doing this; I just do it, grateful that somehow God uses what I have to offer, but unable to get cranked up about it the way the others do. Listening to God is not always as easy as it sounds. Is prison ministry my calling? I don't think so, but my discomfort with it is not enough to rule it out. Wesley once said, "Do all the good you can, in every way you can, in every place you can, as long as ever you can." That's what I'm trying to do, and today, I had the privilege of assisting in the birth of a new believer into God's family, and was able to help another let go of a burden of guilt that he's been carrying around for 25 years. And we're not done yet! How can I not be thankful when God so richly blesses even my stumbling and faltering attempts at faithful service?
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