Today I am very thankful to be retired. This morning I popped into pastor Joe's office to ask a quick question about Sunday's Easter service, only to see him busily at work preparing for it. Tomorrow night is the community Maundy Thursday service, Friday our Good Friday service, then three services on Sunday. I know what the pressure of all that preparation feels like to a pastor who is conscious of the weight of responsibility preaching affords. If it were merely lectures he has to give, it wouldn't be so bad, but these are sermons; those vehicles God has chosen to share his heart with his people. I was always concerned about whether or not what I had prepared was what God wanted for that moment, and whether I had prepared adequately enough to help people connect with the message.
This year, I have none of that hanging over my head. Instead, I have letters to write and a talk to prepare for Keryx, the prison ministry weekend coming up seven short days from now. There have been a couple glitches in communication that made for a late start on one of the talks I am to give, and I've had a few unexpected alterations to my plans for preparation. Had I had multiple sermons to prepare in addition to what I'm already doing, I'd be in a mild panic by now. Linda says I'm much easier to live with since I've retired, and I believe it. It's also easier for me to live, now that the burden has lifted.
I'm still casting about, trying to discern God's overall plan for me in retirement. It hasn't yet become clear, but I am sure it will. I'm doing my best to pay attention to the hints and signs he places before me, but it's still pretty fuzzy. Until I get clarity, I keep praying, worshipping, and serving as best I know how, trusting that when needed, the guidance will come. Until then, I am thankful to be heading into Easter without having to preach. It will be good to hear from someone else that old story that gives new life.
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