Sunday, April 19, 2015

A Job Unsought

April 19, 2015

Between worship services today, I had an interesting conversation with my friend Steve, who was in prison ministry with me last weekend. Part of the ministry includes Friday night Bible studies with the inmates, one of which Steve attended two evenings ago. With nine grandchildren showing up at our house for the weekend overnight, I was unable to attend.

"I've got a new job for you," he announced,smiling facetiously.

"Really?" I responded, somewhat incredulous. "And what would that be?"

"Pastor of the prison church," he responded. "The guys all thought you should be the replacement for the pastor who is retiring after twenty-some years. All the guys who were at our table want you, as do the others."

I'm not thinking that's going to happen. First of all, I am retired, and not looking for another full time job, which that would be. Secondly, I'm pretty sure the prisoners don't get to choose who gets hired as chaplain of the prison. My third reason these men blew out of the water. When I agreed to be spiritual director for the weekend, it was with loads of hesitation. Prison ministry is outside my comfort zone; WAY outside! I feel like a fish out of water. And this spring, my schedule prohibited me from attending most of the preparatory meetings. When our granddaughters' school musical got postponed to that weekend, I was ready to bail until I remembered something my mother taught me as a child: "When you make a commitment, you stick to it, even if something better comes along." I reluctantly followed through on my commitment, and at the closing program told the men how hesitant I was, but how much I learn and receive from being with them.

At the Koinonia closing program tonight, Linda was talking with one of the women who reported how much her husband thought of me after working together on one of the teams. "You need to listen to them," she admonished. "You are better than you think you are." Well, that may be so; I'm not fully convinced, but it is humbling as well as honoring to hear these things. I've believed for many years now that volunteerism is not particularly compatible with the Gospel. Jesus never asked for volunteers; he chose the men he wanted. So I never volunteer. But when someone calls, I have to consider whether God's call resides within the human invitation. I doubt that I'll be the next pastor of the prison church, but I can't simply ignore this invitation. I've been asking God what he has in store for this next stage of life's journey, and am grateful for the possibilities that have been presented to me. Prison ministry still doesn't feel very comfortable, but comfort is not the measure of God's call. I must consider whether or not God is speaking through this invitation. Tonight, I am thankful that God isn't done with me yet, even though I'm not yet sure of his direction. So in addition to being my being thankful tonight, I am using this post to request prayers that I might discern God's leading in this. Request made; response waiting.

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