Tonight after dinner, the guys who are staying at the house instead of the hotel decided to just go home. Well, not quite. They wanted to go out for pizza, so I found myself back on the road again, with the one caveat: I was NOT going to stay out till 1:30 like they did last night. I'm working on being an old man, after all. I'm getting pretty good at going to bed early; now I'll have to start working on my crustiness and curmudging. I think I'll be able to pick it up a lot quicker than the Spanish I've been working on for the past five years.
One of the other pastors wanted to ride in the sidecar, and having an extra helmet, I obliged. He was like a kid on a roller coaster, hands in the air and laughing like a maniac. Well, maybe not maniacally, but close enough for my purposes. We got to our destination, ordered the pizzas, and sat down to debrief on the day's activities. The big event today was the roundtable discussion time where everyone sat at tables to talk about homosexuality. A number of petitions were again brought to Conference with the hopes that they would be affirmed, basically striking all wording that speaks of homosexual behavior as "incompatible with Christian teaching," as well as anything that could be construed as "hurtful." We've been talking about this for 40 years, and may be coming to a tipping point for the denomination. There's been talk of "amicable separation;" It will be a sad day when (I believe it is a matter of 'when' rather than 'if.') that separation finally comes. On the one hand, maybe we will finally be able to focus on our mission of making disciples of Jesus Christ, a mission that has gotten shoved to the back burner for a generation, as evidenced by our hemorrhaging membership. On the other hand, my more liberal friends have taught me to listen more carefully, and to not just write them off. I cannot say as some would, that they don't love Jesus or take the Scriptures seriously. I believe their hearts may be right, but their heads are wrong. I will miss the challenge they give me to search the Scriptures and my own heart, trying to cut through my own biases. When we only talk with those with whom we agree, we don't grow.
I don't know when the day will come, and I could be wrong. It's happened before. But it appears as I've said, that we are getting close to a tipping point. Although it has been often a bumpy ride, I've appreciated what I've learned in my not-always-beloved denomination. I am grateful that some 45 years ago, God led me to the United Methodist Church. I was asked today why as a conservative, I've stayed. The answer is simple: I am convinced God led me here. Actually, he railroaded me, dragged me kicking and screaming, and slammed doors shut so I couldn't leave. Doesn't sound very complimentary, but it's the truth. And in truth, though it's often been a love-hate relationship, it's been good for me, and the church has been good to me. Divorce is a terrible thing, whether it's a marriage or a church. It's not something to be entered into lightly. I've been married for 45 years, and if my wife left me every time I did something stupid or sinful, we wouldn't have lasted a single one of those 45 years. Is our marriage perfect? No, but it keeps getting better. I keep hoping for the same with my church, and in the meantime, thanking God for the lessons I couldn't have learned anywhere else, for the difficult times that stretched me, and for the nourishing times that have filled my soul. I've had both, and I believe both have been equally, God's gift of grace to me.
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