Thursday, May 14, 2015

What Lasts

May 14, 2015

This morning my email inbox contained a David Jeremiah devotional, a link to an online bass lesson, a Starbucks free drink reward (Hooray!), a note from my daughter, and our church's Annual Conference Newsletter. I read the devotional and my daughter's note, saved the bass lesson for when I have time to practice it, and skimmed the newsletter before deleting it. A year ago, I'd have picked that newsletter apart, deciding which church-sponsored programs we would follow, which we would ignore, and pass along to others the things I thought they needed to know. It's a strange feeling since retirement, no longer being the link between the larger denomination and our local church. Many  of the articles and events I once thought important no longer have the same impact upon me.

It makes me wonder how important all this stuff is. In some ways, my world has shrunk since retirement. I spend much of my time working around the house (when I'm not visiting people in hospitals or preparing sermons or mentoring other pastors). Where once I would have jumped on training for improving my preaching or dealing with church growth, I read these advertisements and in the words of my friend Sheri Lienhart, think to myself, "Not my circus; not my monkeys." Linda and I started the day at an intramural swim meet where we watched Izzi set two sixth grade records and Jo's fourth grade relay do the same. One of the wires on Izzi's braces had snapped, and her parents' schedule was already packed full, so I volunteered to take her to the orthodontist. As it turned out, Linda handled that duty while I mowed the lawn, then practiced my bassoon outdoors. When Linda and Izzi returned, I did some reading while she fixed us supper before heading back to school for Jo's choral concert. Other than that single email, I didn't give a single thought to Conference and church stuff.

It's a good thing to step back from the routines that fill our lives. I think it was Socrates who said, "An unexamined life is not worth living," or words to that effect. That's one reason God gave us the Sabbath, to slow down and consider why we do all the stuff we do. In the past two days, Linda and I had the opportunity to invest in two of our granddaughters, Gemma and Izzi. Tomorrow, we'll have the crew over for the night. To be honest, I don't miss all the stuff that occupied so much of my time and attention for all those years. I've never been much of an administrator, and meetings usually felt like a necessary evil. Now I have the freedom and the privilege of feeding my own soul with my music, and pouring my attention into the people who populate my life. It is deeply satisfying, and makes me a grateful man. But it also makes me wonder about all the stuff that as a pastor leading the church I thought so necessary for life that I missed the actual living. I wish I had understood this earlier. I'm glad I know it now.

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