On the way home from a Keryx (prison ministry) meeting tonight, Steve Meacham and I were talking about all sorts of things ranging from whether or not we believe God is calling us more fully into this ministry to how we've experienced grace in our lives when we had no reason to expect it. At one point, we were talking about counseling, and I shared my experience that much of the counseling I ever did seemed to be a waste of time. People often come to the pastor because they want divine confirmation of what they've already decided to do. In addition, I learned that I have enough trouble keeping my own heart and life in order; what makes me think I can tell someone else what they need to do?
It took years for me to realize these things, and I've wondered if the early years of counseling by advice did more harm than good. The only exceptions to this were in situations where someone was clearly stepping outside the will of God, as the time when a friend called me and told me I wasn't going to believe that God told him it was OK to divorce his wife because he was in love with someone else. I told him he was right; I didn't believe it. I told him in no uncertain terms that it wasn't God telling him that.
I finally came to the place where I gave up counseling altogether, and turned to prayer therapy. I listen to people so as to know where to apply the leverage of prayer, but then that's what we do. I eschew advice and encourage prayer. The answer to our issues is rarely exactly what I think it should be; as I said, I don't have enough wisdom to figure out my own life, let alone someone else's. But there is Someone who can.
I've been pondering a particularly knotty problem that was presented to me recently. No matter which way I attempt to approach the issue, I can't for the life of me figure out how to proceed. Every avenue I can think of has an obstacle or objection that seems insurmountable. So far, it refuses to yield. Just ignoring it isn't an option; issues ignored usually fester till they become a cancer that eats away at the soul, destroying relationships and breaking hearts. The Scriptures tell us that if we ask for the wisdom we need, God will give it. I believe that. It doesn't always come when we want it, and it can be easy to miss God's wisdom because it often comes wrapped in a form we don't like or can't recognize, but God's promise is sure, and the wisdom will come. It is to that promise I cling when I can't see my way through, and although I've often missed it due to my impatience or bias, if I pray long enough and listen carefully enough, it always comes. And for that, I am thankful, and can rest peacefully even in the midst of the storm.
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