It seems a lifetime ago that Linda and I were houseparents at a group home outside Chicago for teenage boys. They were a sad mix of kids whose fathers either abandoned them, abdicated their paternal responsibilities, or abused them. Fathers who probably never themselves had an example of what fatherhood is all about, failed their own sons, setting in motion a dysfunctional pattern that rippled through multiple generations. In the time we lived with them, two of them made professions of faith in Christ that literally turned them around. For awhile. I noticed early on the almost immediate negative effects if they ignored or abandoned the spiritual disciplines that are necessary to our growth in Christian faith and life. If they neglected their Bible reading, prayer, and worship, they would almost immediately revert to their old ways of life. It was like the bottom dropped out of their lives. When they maintained those disciplines, they always changed for the better.
It occurred to me then that the same dynamics are always in play in my life, but the visible manifestations are not always immediately evident. I was raised in a home where my father was very much present. He was not a formidable man, but he was an unwavering constant in my life, who taught me right from wrong, set the boundaries and made sure there were consequences when those boundaries were crossed. It never once even entered my mind that he and my mother wouldn't be together. So as an adult, if I skip my Bible reading, neglect prayer or worship, I'd be doing the same thing as these boys, but I had a safety net of family strength and instruction that would catch me and keep me from bottoming out the way these boys did.
I've thought of this often over the years, and tonight in men's Bible study, as we prayed for various concerns and people, I thought of a Christian brother who had made some bad choices, but turned his life around, and was doing pretty well in his walk with Christ. But the consequences of those choices haven't disappeared, and life began to unravel for him. Things weren't turning out the way he had hoped and we had prayed. We haven't seen him around for a few weeks, but we've been praying for him.
When life doesn't work the way we expect, it's easy to get discouraged, and when we're discouraged, it's easy to withdraw and begin to neglect the very means God has given to help us hold life together. I've been guilty of this many times, and the only thing that has kept it from being noticeable to others is that safety net of behavior and habit that was drilled into me when I was young. I didn't always appreciate it; I am as guilty as any for complaining that so & so's parents weren't as hard on their boys as mine were on me. Fortunately, my parents were unimpressed with my logic, and couldn't have cared less about how other parents did things. It's been a long road, but I am grateful tonight that my father and mother did the hard work, stayed the course, and sent me into life with a safety net that has rescued me from my own foolishness more often than I care to remember.
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