The notice didn't come when I was expecting it, which could only mean one thing: I didn't win the bid. When we moved here a little over two years ago, we had a small riding mower that was perfect for our lot in Cassadaga, but totally inadequate for the acreage we have here. So we gave the mower to Todd and Jess, who have a lot about the same size as our Cassadaga lot, and took to using the old John Deere 216 we've had for a few years. That thing is a rock; it just keeps working. Well, except for the mower deck. A couple weeks ago Linda was mowing. She made a couple passes around the yard then came in for a pit stop, telling me that it wasn't cutting anything. I checked it out, and sure enough, the blades weren't spinning. Upon dismantling the deck, I was easily able to diagnose the problem: a pulley bearing had disintegrated. I took the deck to Edge 'n Engine, left it with Kyle, and mowed with the big zero turn Husqvarna.
That particular machine I bought last year for Linda, the only problem being that she didn't like it. Zero turns operate differently than conventional mowers, and Linda doesn't like the fact that it didn't have a brake pedal. After trying it a couple times, she decided it wasn't for her, and refuses to use it. I don't blame her; it does take some getting used to, and can be pretty squirrelly on a slope. So I decided to get a real lawn tractor. I had seen a used Kubota with a bucket and a backhoe, but missed the deal because I thought it was too expensive. Linda chided me for not getting it, so I've been on the prowl ever since.
After checking out the Kubota and the John Deere dealers, I've decided against Orange. After all, I see used Kubotas in the John Deere dealership, but I don't see used John Deeres in the Kubota dealerships. That tells me something. I'm not sure what, but it tells me something. I've also been checking online. The bottom line is, I thought I had a deal at the dealership a couple weeks ago, but the guy who had put a hold on it bought it. I have sold the zero turn, so it's a bit more urgent to replace it, so I've even checked out eBay, putting a bid in on a nice one down in PA. Tonight, the notice didn't come in. Someone else won the bid, so I'm still tractorless. But it's OK. It's taken me a long time, but I am finally at the place where my trust in God is such that it doesn't bother me to lose the bid. There was a time when I would have been almost distraught, second-guessing my bid limit, and fretting over not having what I want. But not tonight. My contentment doesn't rely on a tractor. I can afford to be patient, knowing God is in control. He knows my need, and is better able than I to distinguish between my needs and wants. Like I said, it's taken me a long time to get to this point, but I am so grateful to be here. Not fretting is a beautiful thing.
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