True Friends

 October 28, 2023

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, 

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

—Proverbs 18:24 

Sociologists tell us that one of the biggest issues that modern men face is loneliness. Many men don’t have a single other man with whom he can talk about the issues we face. White men in particular, have been singled out as the whipping boy for society’s ills, from racism to sexism and beyond. If a man takes a firm stand on any of the social ills of our day, he is accused of “toxic masculinity.” Much of academia and the media seems to prefer softer, more feminine men. Any kind of aggression, even in defending others, is often vilified.

To be sure, many of the problems of society today are male-driven, but most of them are due not to toxic masculinity, but absent masculinity. Studies have shown that more than 95% of men in prison grew up in fatherless homes. Young men who haven’t been guided by strong men who have a moral and ethical foundation often seek strong leadership in gangs. Our problem isn’t toxic masculinity; it’s deformed masculinity. 

But to my point, men are often lonely, without the kind of support group that women gravitate towards naturally. Such men are easy prey for the Enemy of our souls who can twist and distort that need for deep companionship into fellowship over a bottle or the latest drug of choice.

I am among the minority who have men in my life who will on almost a moment’s notice drop what they are doing to step in and bless me in unexpected and unimaginable ways. A month or two ago, we had sixteen dying trees taken down along the creek that runs behind our house. I chunked them up and piled them under the spruce next to our woodshed until I could get around to splitting and stacking it. This morning at 8:00, nine men showed up unannounced, ready to split and stack my wood. For four hours, (along with my wife and daughter), they did just that. Tonight, between eleven and twelve cord of firewood is safely split and stacked.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, 

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

I’ve had “friends” who bent like a reed at the slightest wind of trouble. These men are like oaks; they stand like sentinels, unbowed by adversity and ready to lend muscle and sinew as testimony of their loyalty. I am both humbled and proud to call them my brothers.