Understanding and Healing

September 28, 2019

If you keep at it long enough and don’t give up, the answer usually comes. I’ve been reading the gospel of Matthew with its stories of the miracles of Jesus healing people and exorcising demons. In chapter ten, Jesus sends his disciples through the land with the command to preach the Good News, heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead. I read things like that and wonder why we don’t see more of it today. When reading this the other day, I also noticed his command for them to go out with just the clothes on their backs, and wondered if my unwillingness to live in abject poverty is one of the reasons I don’t see more healings. 

Today I was reading in chapter 13, where after Jesus tells a few stories, he explains to his disciples why he speaks in parables. He quotes Isaiah, explaining that he speaks this way so people won’t be able to understand what he’s saying. We thought he used these stories to help people understand, but that’s not the rationale he gave. Why would Jesus deliberately hide truth from the people? And should we follow suit?

I suspect one of the reasons he does so is to protect his hearers. Isaiah says, “their hearts have grown dull...” If as I believe, we will be judged according to the light we’ve received, it makes sense for Jesus as an act of mercy to withhold that light from those who aren’t ready to receive it so they won’t be judged more harshly. 

The rest of that verse 15 speaks to me and the issue of healing. I want to be clear that I am not applying this verse to anyone else. It was God’s word to me as I read it this afternoon. Jesus hid the truth from those whose hearts weren’t ready to hear it, ending with these words: “Lest they should understand with their hearts and turn, so that I should heal them.” Jesus and Isaiah link understanding with healing. For most of my life, I’ve tried to understand the Gospel. I’ve often wondered why I’ve been spared the sickness and disease so many have endured. As I read today, God spoke to my heart, “You haven’t been the instrument of my healing for others, but your willingness to try to understand has healed you.” 

I know this raises the question of why other, more faithful saints of God have endured all kinds of illness and disease. I wish I knew, but I don’t. And I don’t extrapolate my understanding of the text to others. God only speaks to my heart occasionally; it’s not an everyday occurrence for me. I certainly wasn’t looking for an answer to my question, and was completely surprised when that thought popped into my head, which is why I think it was God’s word for me. It’s the last thing I would have expected to hear. My reading of this Scripture may be completely off base, but I am thankful tonight that in his mercy God somehow made me attentive to his voice. It had to be mercy, because left to myself, I’d be anything but attentive to his voice. I’m ready to be corrected if I misread the text, but till then, am thankful to have heard that quiet whisper from the Lord himself and to have experienced his healing even if I’m not able to impart it to someone else.