Depression

September 13, 2019

“Is the Gospel true?” It’s a question I’ve asked myself many times. The Bible is filled with promises that lie unclaimed, like a forgotten Christmas gift on layaway. Jesus said he came to give us life abundantly; Paul declared, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me;” John says Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil. Why then do so many of us constantly battle with addictions, depression, obesity, guilt, anger, jealousy, lust, and pride (to name a few)? Why are so many of us dependent on medicines and therapists?

These questions came to mind again today after a conversation with friends about the depression so many of us experience. We live in a society that has more goods and services, more opportunities than any other in history, yet with all that is available to us, we are still empty-souled, filled with a spiritual anguish that eats away at the very core of our being. We are often afraid to even talk about this lest we sound judgmental, implying that the sufferer is somehow to blame for his/her problems. So the question persists. How do we account for the disparity between the promises of the Gospel and the reality with which we live?

Years ago, a friend’s daughter was killed in a car accident. When I went to her home to make funeral arrangements, she shook me by the shoulders, sobbing, “Why did this happen? You’re the pastor; you’re supposed to know these things.” I didn’t then, and I don’t now. But the despair she felt is alive and well in way too many people. 

I think sometimes the problem lies with our expectations. We have forgotten our theology; the Westminster Shorter Catechism says it well: “The chief end (read “goal”) of Man is to love God and enjoy him forever.” We often turn this on its head, believing that the chief goal of God is to bless us and make us happy forever. We wouldn’t dare say this out loud, but it is imprinted on our souls by our humanistic society, the same society that has proven incapable of filling the void within.

Although I cannot speak for everyone, I can testify of what I have experienced. Most of my life I endured a nagging melancholy. I cannot claim it was full depression; I never wanted to end my life, but it often felt not worth the living. I would beg God to take it away, ask him why I felt so bad. Invariably, he would remind me that whenever I felt this way, I was focusing on my feelings instead of his glory. Whenever I turned my thoughts away from myself and towards him, the clouds would part. It was never easy. It still isn’t. If I allow my thinking to be dominated by the news, by social media, by all the ills of this world and my own feelings of inadequacy, I begin a downward spiral that continues until I deliberately and often with great effort bring my thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I make it a point to constantly look for things for which to give thanks. They are always there, often hidden. But when I make the effort to look, I always find them, and meditating upon them lifts my spirit and fills my soul. The Gospel is indeed, true.