Weary

August 7, 2019

I was tired when I got up this morning. It didn’t go away. If we were ordinary retirees, I might have taken a nap, but instead, I met with some pastor friends for prayer at 8:00, worked on Sunday’s sermon till 1:00, loaded a kitchen range onto my truck and drove from Dunkirk to Randolph to exchange it (and some cash) for one that works. In between, along with littlest granddaughter Gemma, we raked apples that had fallen and loaded debris from the felled trees  into the bucket and drove it to the burn pile. Then a quick supper before heading to Dunkirk for Wednesday’s ministry in the park and unloading the new stove.

Normally, a day like that would have sent me at least to the edge, if not over it. I am not a people person and need quiet alone time to keep my soul settled. There was no time for alone today, but it’s OK. Just as I was gearing up for sermon preparation this morning, I received a phone call from a dear friend who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. He and his wife had hoped the doctors and hospital would jump right on his case with the requisite tests and treatment plan, but they won’t see him till August 20, two weeks from now. He is a strong believer, but it’s hard to wait when you know this stuff is growing inside you and wants to kill you. I don’t think he’s scared, but he is apprehensive. And angry that the medical system is playing chicken with his health. 

I think I would be frantic and furious. I prayed with him, and wish there were more I could do, knowing I cannot. But his situation puts my own in perspective. He is the one who lit the fire for Cuba in my soul. We have labored side by side there, and having learned so much from him, it seems there is so little I can do to repay the debt I owe. One thing I can do...I can take even the busiest of days, the most frustrating of days, as well as the most fulfilling of days...and give thanks—for him, for Christ, for my wife and family and brothers and sisters in faith. I’m still tired, but I am also deeply grateful that my weariness does not define me. It is God’s gift to strengthen my resolve to live every moment to its fullest for Christ.