Going For It

March 16, 2019

My life has been taken over by sheet music. Last week, it was rehearsal every day, with performances on the weekend. This week hasn’t been quite as pressing, but the music is constantly in my head even if it hasn’t managed to work its way flawlessly to my fingers. Tonight is the final performance, and to be honest, I’m going to miss it much more than my wife who has become a music widow from it all. 

I’ve written on the challenges this music has presented and of my limited capacity to actually play the music, but it’s not been as a complaint; it’s a recognition of the scope of my bass abilities, none of which has provoked scorn by those much more accomplished than myself. The encouragement has been nonstop, and even the admiration that as an amateur I would even attempt to jump in. Our pianist, a piano professor at Fredonia college, told me that this is by far the most difficult music of the fifty or so musicals he has accompanied. I am grateful for his unassuming cues when I’ve lost my place. 

Our cellist plays for the Erie symphony, and seemed surprised last night when I told her I was a retired pastor. Turns out, her pastor and I went to college together, and when I mentioned one of the songs which should be easy for its profusion of whole notes, she confessed her own difficulty with that piece, saying, “It has no pulse.” 

All this is to say I’ll miss it when it’s over. I’ve made some good friends and acquaintances, have learned a lot, and improved my abilities. Taking on a challenge and stretching oneself is not only good for my brain and fingers; it’s good for the soul. I grew up in a pretty conservative household. It took me years to understand the value of risk taking and even of failure. John Maxwell used to speak of this in a little ditty he quoted at his leadership seminars:

There was a very cautious man

Who never laughed or played

He never risked, he never tried,

He never sang or prayed.

And when one day he passed away,

His insurance was denied,

For since he never really lived,

They claimed he never died.

I decided years ago I would not be that man. I’m no daredevil; I have no repressed urge to do things to end my life prematurely, but I have chosen to live the days I’ve been given as fully as possible. I expect heaven to be an utterly spectacular place because where I am planted now is amazing, and am thankful for every opportunity I am given, even if it means ditching any thoughts of lazily sitting on the back deck sipping iced tea in the summer breezes. As soon as it warms up, I’ll strap my bass to the sidecar and head north. It might even be time to take in a few more lessons.