Control

September 19, 2018

I’ve been thinking about yesterday’s post. It’s not really about money; it’s about control. We’ve given away far more than the sum I lent my friend, but when I give to charities or individuals, I get to choose to whom and how much. I am in control. I give, and it’s over. Lending money puts an entirely different dynamic into play, making a connection between the lender and the borrower that remains until the debt is paid. Usually it is the lender who is in control, but when the borrower fails to keep his end of the bargain, the power dynamics change.

Fact is, I don’t like not being in control, and that is exactly what God was trying to teach me. Christianity is all about yielding control of our lives into the hands of a loving and merciful God, but a God who plays by a different set of rules. He makes demands that often seem unreasonable or counterintuitive. He says we must die to self that Christ may live in us. Humanly speaking, how does that make any sense? It doesn’t. Any more than loving our enemies, blessing those who curse us, doing good to those who do us ill. All this however, is central to the Gospel. I cannot know God’s will until like Jesus, I’ve prayed, “Not my will, but thine be done.”

The odd thing about this is, once I made the decision to forgive the debt, to yield control to the debtor, I not only was free, but I was back in control. The unholy bonds that tied us together and are now replaced by the holy bond of forgiveness and love. I am able to pray for him in an entirely different frame of mind.

There is another dimension to this episode. We control what belongs to us. When our children were growing up, Linda and I had control over them (I know, any parent of teenagers will tell you that’s an illusion). We guided their decisions, corrected them when they stepped across the line. We could do that because they were our children. We had no right to do that with anyone else’s children. What is ours, is ours to control. But one of the Biblical insights we too often forget is that none of what we have is ours. Everything belongs to God who in grace and mercy entrusts us to use for good what he has placed in our hands. My money isn’t mine; it’s God’s. He graciously gives me 90% for my use, reserving a mere 10% for himself. That’s better than Uncle Sam! When I keep any part of that 10%, I am robbing God of what is rightfully his. And of the 90% he entrusts to me, I will someday have to give an accounting for what I’ve done with it.

This incident reminds me whose it is (God’s), and who is really in control (again, God). I am thankful again tonight for the freedom that comes when we see life through his eyes. In freedom, I will sleep well tonight.