Saturday, June 6, 2015

45 Years, But Who's Counting?

June 6, 2015

How do you celebrate 45 years of marriage? Well, if you're Jim and Linda Bailey, one of you wakes up at a men's retreat to lead a 7:30 am devotional, while the other lies sick in bed at home. And when the retreat is over at 4:00 pm, one of you rushes home to unpack and change to get ready for your granddaughters' All-County Music Festival.

Back in the Stone Age when we were married, things were done a bit differently. We paid for our own wedding and reception, which meant that there was no sit-down dinner at a country club or legion hall, there was no band; there wasn't even a DJ. We were married in the old Weidler Memorial Evangelical United Brethren church in Frewsburg, which was converted to apartments years ago. We needed the larger church to fit in all our families and friends who wouldn't have been able to squeeze into Linda's home church of Wheeler Hill. Sixty people there, and they'd have been hanging out the windows. But the Wheeler Hill basement was large enough for the reception. Unlike today where more people turn up at the reception than for the wedding, when you only serve those little cut sandwiches with bowls of peanuts and mints, punch and coffee, the crowd thinned out at our reception. We greeted all our guests, opened wedding presents, then headed for home, which was the little parsonage in Alma, NY. Since we hadn't really eaten all day, we were famished by the time we got halfway home, so we stopped at a little hotdog joint in Portville. Like the Weidler and the Alma church, that little joint closed years ago, but we still remember our first meal as a married couple, munching on a couple hot dogs in a greasy spoon. The good news is, we've lasted far longer than either the churches or the restaurant.

Fast forward to today. We didn't have much time between my getting home and our needing to be at the music festival, so we had our anniversary dinner at a small diner in Mayville. We've stepped up from the greasy spoon, and even ordered hamburgers instead of hot dogs. Aren't we the romantic couple? The evening rounded out at the music festival and a rousing chorus of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Somehow, that seems just a bit ironic for a wedding anniversary, but that's as romantic as the music got today.

A week or so ago, we talked about the secret of our success; our faith in Christ and the strength and grace he gives us to love and forgive is foundational, but in addition, it's partly that we don't need big and fancy to impress each other. I think it has something to do with wiping down the shower at night. I wrote about this a few days ago, but the truth of the matter is that both of us have chosen to be servants of the other. Whether it's doing dishes or laundry, lawn or garden, we aren't jockeying for position or trying to gain control over the other. Instead, we each look for ways we can help and bless each other, not worrying about whose job any given task is. The result is, instead of skulking about, worried that the other might be getting some advantage, each of us thinks we got the best end of the deal. I know I did, and I am grateful for it.

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