Leaning In

 December 30, 2022

Sometimes if Linda has trouble falling asleep, she’ll turn the TV on, volume low, just to have some white noise in the background. Last night, instead of the TV, I cradled her in my arms; she backed up against me and fell asleep almost instantly. Just holding her close not only helped her relax and sleep; it also filled me up inside.

As I lay there, I got to thinking; I wonder if God takes as much pleasure in me “backing up to him” as i had with Linda. So often, my relationship with the Lord consists of serving, accomplishing things—good things for him, as if obedience and service were what brings him the most pleasure. But what if this isn’t actually the case? What if God’s greatest pleasure comes from us just spending time with him, moving in close? Maybe my “busyness” is depriving God of what he desires most. I appreciate it when Linda does things for me, but I can hire someone to do things for me; what she offers that I can find nowhere else is simply herself. Perhaps it’s the same with God.

Psalm 27 says it well: “One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD.” I suspect that “one thing” was not only what David desired of God; it is also what God desires of us, and if I deprive God of the pleasure of simply being together, I’m also depriving myself. God has the angels to serve him; he created us to love him, and that isn’t just about service; it’s a matter of the heart. 

Tonight, there’ll be no TV; just Linda and me leaning in close. And as she falls asleep, I’ll also lean in close to God. I don’t want to deprive either of us of the pleasure of the intimacy.