Limping through Life

 August 5, 2022

When Jacob knew his estranged brother had formed a welcoming committee of 400 men to greet him as he returned to Canaan, he was justifiably afraid. Twenty years earlier, he hadn’t left on the best of terms, having swindled his brother out of his inheritance and incurring Esau’s wrathful vow to kill him. Like so many of us when we get into a jam, he prayed as he had never prayed before. He was used to deal-making to his own favor, but this time, he was reduced to groveling, with just a hint of bargaining thrown in for good measure.

“Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the Lord who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you’: I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies. Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, lest he come and attack me and the mother with the children. For You said, ‘I will surely treat you well, and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’ ”” —Genesis 32:9-12 

So Jacob prayed. But before he prayed, he prepared. He divided his goods and family into two groups, thinking that whichever one Esau attacked, the other could escape. It’s always good to have a plan when you have a problem.

Finally, Jacob prevailed. 

“Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob’s hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.” But he said, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!” So He said to him, “What is your name?” He said, “Jacob.” And He said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.”” —Genesis 32:24-28 

He prevailed…with God himself! In his wrestling with God, he went from schemer to saint, a new man inside and out. THIS was the heart-change, the transformation he needed to accomplish what God had in store for him.No amount of prayer or preparation could replace the inner transformation he needed.

Jacob would ever afterwards walk with a limp, displaying a weakness everyone could see, a weakness that was necessary if God were to use him. He had wasted too many years walking with the swagger of self-confidence, making his way on his own terms. Now, he limped along, reminded by his wounded hip of his need for God’s continual blessing.

The world is filled with wounded people like Jacob, who limp their way through life, swaggering on the outside, but hiding their weakness and vulnerability and like Jacob, making a mess of everything they touch. Successful by all appearances, they don’t want anyone to know how badly it hurts to merely put one foot in front of the other. The successful businessman who commits suicide, and no one saw it coming, the gang-banger shooting into a crowd to secure his status, the teenage girl making herself available to all the boys, the kid drifting through the day in a drugged or alcoholic haze—they are limping on the inside, but dare not show it. 

Only the touch of God can expose that inner limp, getting it out where it is seen. It hurts, and only happens if we wrestle and refuse to quit. Once there, it loses its power to wound the soul, and we begin, like Jacob, to become Israel—the princes and princesses we were intended to be. It’s worth walking with a noticeable limp if it means the limping soul walks tall and straight.

Prepare, Pray, Prevail. Not a bad response to a crisis.