Depression

 September 17, 2020

A friend wrote to me today, confiding some of the struggles with depression he has been facing. His words took me back nearly eight years to the breakthrough God gave me over the same demons. In the intervening years, I haven’t gotten it perfect, but what I learned in that encounter literally changed my life. I’ve shared it before, but it bears repeating, as I see Christians struggling with depression and the feelings of defeat it brings. As I said, I haven’t done it perfectly, but I’ve worked hard to focus on that for which I am thankful, and it has made a world of difference. For those times I’ve relapsed, I beg forgiveness. I’m still a work in progress. Here’s what I wrote to my friend. Maybe it will encourage you, too.

You indeed are a dear friend, and I will certainly pray for you. We all feel weak at times, and in fact, we are weak in and of ourselves. If we were not weak, we wouldn’t need the strength of Christ. I have often felt that my weaknesses disqualified me from being a pastor, until I cast myself on the mercies of God, who helps the weak and heals the broken-hearted. Once, when I had stumbled over the same sin again, as I had done many times before, I said, “God, if I were you, I would be so done with me.” He answered that prayer immediately when he said, “Aren’t you glad I’m not you?”

For most of my life, even as a pastor, I fought mild depression. I called it melancholy because it wasn’t so bad I needed medication or hospitalization, but it felt like there was constantly a cloud over my head. It came to a head in December of 2012 during the presidential election here in the states. I got caught up with it, thinking about it all the time. On December 28, the Lord asked me, “Jim, where is your joy?” I had to admit, I didn’t know. That very day, he led me to a website where I found a calendar called “Joy Dare.” 

The woman who put this together had struggled with depression, and to combat it, developed this calendar. Each day there were three different things for which to give thanks. I began following the calendar and writing about those three things each day. That began the nightly musings I now post on Facebook. I had been posting political comments, but decided I would only post positive and uplifting things. It was a struggle. I was surprised to discover how hard it was to speak only words of kindness and gratitude. I had this misguided notion that if I didn’t comment on everything I thought was wrong, I was somehow neglecting my duty to correct the world. It took awhile to realize I wasn’t changing anyone’s mind, but by writing about the things for which I was thankful, I was actually helping people. It turns out, I was helping myself, too. About a year after I began this discipline of finding three things each day for which to give thanks, I woke up one morning and realized that cloud had disappeared! I no longer felt the weight I had carried for so long. I think it was because all those years I had unknowingly been disobedient to the Word of God which commanded me to “give thanks in everything.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). When I finally started obeying those simple words, everything changed.

So here is my prayer for you: “Father of all mercy and grace, who heals all our diseases and forgives all our sins, look with gentle kindness upon your servant. Turn his thoughts away from himself and how he feels, and turn them toward the Cross. Remind him that salvation is never found in our own righteousness, for we shall always fall short. Shower upon him grace and mercy, forgiveness and peace, through our Lord Jesus Christ, and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Cover him with your wings of love, in Jesus’ mighty Name. Amen.”