Family

August 16, 2017

Some of Jesus’ harshest words have to do with family. In Luke 14:26, he declared, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, and wife and children, and brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” He couldn’t have gotten much more explicit or controversial than he did here. We read these words and have to wonder, “Did they really come from the lips of Jesus of Nazareth, who taught us to love one another? How can this be?” The answer is, “Yes, he really said this,” and “taken at face value, it makes no sense.”

Scholars have danced all around this statement, declaring either that Jesus didn’t really say this, or that he didn’t really mean “hate,” or “we must be missing something here.” I’m afraid I can’t add much to the discussion, except for saying that it is a clear warning to me to not idolize my family, something I am consistently tempted to do. 

God has blessed Linda and me with children and grandchildren who love being together. That doesn’t mean we don’t have our issues. We at times have to swallow our pride, hold our tongues, pray for our attitudes, give and receive forgiveness. All three of our children, with all their children, live within a half-mile radius from us. We all attend the same church. We celebrate holidays and birthdays together. We see a lot of each other…which can lead to problems. We are not a perfect family. But we love each other, and most of the time, we like each other. Wherein lies the danger. Even if by “hate” Jesus’ meant only that our love for God should make our love for family look like hate by comparison, his words still bother me. I’d be hard pressed to sacrifice my family even for God. Christians throughout history have had to make that decision. I am grateful I have not.

Years ago when I was preaching about family life, I proclaimed that if the church should go belly up, it would bother me, but wouldn’t devastate me. If however, my family failed, I didn’t know how I would stand it. God took me up on it: the church almost folded. They were the worst years of my life. I am grateful that my family came through it intact. And I am thankful for the times of laughter we are sharing together this week.