Shame

 February 9, 2023

I was in fourth grade. The class was performing some sort of “play” on stage at Paddy Hill Elementary. I must have drawn the short straw because I got the part of a hayseed farmer. The script called for me to come out on stage and scold a couple other kids for some sort of offense. That wasn’t what makes me remember this skit, however. The scripted response to my line was for one of the “kids” to laugh and say, “Don’t listen to that old windbag.” 

Why would such a line in an elementary school play have burned itself so deeply into my memory? Because it burned into my psyche. Fourth grader that I was, I couldn’t distinguish between a script and real life. That laughter and that one line dug deep. The shame of those innocent scripted words became a part of my identity. I never stood on stage again.

Shame is a powerful incentive to behavioral change. In our Thursday morning men’s prayer group today, we read from Psalm 119:

“Let the proud be ashamed, 

For they treated me wrongfully with falsehood; 

But I will meditate on Your precepts. 

Let those who fear You turn to me, 

Those who know Your testimonies. 

Let my heart be blameless regarding Your statutes, 

That I may not be ashamed.”

—Psalm 119:78-80 

Twice in these three verses we see the word “ashamed.” The first is the author’s wishing shame on the proud; the second, the author wanting to be free from shame himself. I would be hard pressed to say I’ve been treated wrongfully with falsehood. There have been times, but my life hasn’t been characterized by such vitriol. However, these words got me to thinking.

I wish I could say I’m blameless regarding God’s statutes, but I would be lying. I don’t have to dig very deep in the memory bank to find ways I’ve fallen short. Thankfully, God has a remedy for it. “How shall a young man keep his way pure? By taking heed according to your word.” So says the 9th verse of this psalm. Every single verse mentions a synonym for God’s word: statutes, commandments, judgments, testimonies, precepts, laws—each verse giving a benefit of knowing and following God’s ways.

I’ve never had reason to be ashamed when I’m living out God’s word. Any shame I’ve felt has come when I’ve strayed from it or been unaware of the strength and blessing it provides. Often, that sense of shame has motivated me to change my behavior. When I’ve teetered on the edge of sin, I’ve said to myself, “That’s not the man I want to be,” and it has often been all I needed to change my behavior. In the New Testament, Paul said it best: “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of God unto salvation for all who believe.” (Romans 1:16). And if I am unashamed, it tells me that God has been doing his work in me. For that, I am most grateful tonight.