Glue

 March 28, 2022

Yesterday I wrote about Jesus’ story of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15, focusing on a single word, “himself,” and the profound compliment Jesus gives us in that single word. Last night, a friend posted his own take on this story, from a sermon he preached. With his permission, I share it with you tonight because it shed new light (to me) on the text, and on me. Rick Danielson looks at this story in terms of family dynamics and how grace and forgiveness are the glue that bind us together, and their absence as what tears us apart. It’s true in families, in church families, in communities, and all of life. Read and be blessed. And thank you, Rick.

“Recently I was in a coffee shop and was intrigued by a tattoo inked on the arm of the man I stood behind in line.  In big letters, written in an elaborate, sprawling script, it read “No Mercy. No Compassion,” and beneath, in much smaller letters, were the words “For I have received none.”  The words caught my attention because I had been pondering the story of the Prodigal Son all week, especially the part about the father having compassion when he saw his son again.  I did something out of character for me.  I asked this large man with the leather vest and handlebar mustache and arms like hams about his tattoo and what it meant.  He stared at me for a moment, surprised, and then replied with measured words: “It’s a long story, about a difficult life.”  Then he grabbed his coffee off the counter and walked out the door.

 “No mercy; no compassion”; just a man old before his time, recording the painful legacy of rejection on his bicep in permanent ink.

“People often ask this about the parable of the Prodigal Son: Who is this story really about?  The son who wandered?  Or the loving Father who welcomed him home?  The answer, I think, is “yes,” but it’s even more than that.  It’s the tale of a whole family and how they struggled to understand and to forgive one another.  It’s about the complexity of their relationships and how the stresses of life brought out their best and also their worst.

“Jesus gives us a thumbnail sketch of three family members: a father who cares deeply about both of his boys; a son who is impatient about growing up; a brother who feels invisible and unappreciated in his own home.  The deepest needs of each intersect with and rub up against the needs of the others.  They can leave, as one did, but they can’t get away from each other.  As Maya Angelou, the poet, wrote: “I believe that one can never leave home.  I believe that one carries the shadows, the dreams, the fears, and the dragons of home under one’s skin.”

“Like every family, the father and the two sons each had a specific role, a part, to play.  I think you know what I mean by that.  Here in this story are the roles of “Long-suffering Parent,” “Black Sheep,” “Golden Child.”  They each knew what was expected, and they went through life playing their part and waiting to see if they were affirmed or rejected by those around them.  They wanted to know whether they would be pulled close or pushed aside during their best and their worst moments. 

“Because of our imperfections and tendency to veer off track, as the old hymn puts it: “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it,” we are in constant need of what the Bible calls grace.  I’ve had people say to me, “I understand all about grace, but I just don’t feel like I deserve it.”  Which of course means that they don’t understand grace.  The very essence of grace is that it is in fact undeserved, “unmerited.”  If we deserved it, it would no longer be grace.  Grace is at the core of our life together as believers in Jesus.

“The story of the Prodigal Son, or the Loving Father, or the Resentful Brother, or whatever we want to call it, is a story about us as well; it’s a reminder that the values of compassion and grace are the glue that makes it possible for us to be together. Grace affirms us as fully accepted, and grace relieves us of the burden of trying to make everyone else live up to our requirements.

“In our worst moments there is grace.  Not deserved, but fully and lavishly given.  It’s a gift, like an unexpected sign along the highway.  And it’s a sign that we are loved unconditionally no matter how sure we are that we have passed the limits of redemption.

“When families are at their best, they become the primary and most effective channel for grace to flow into and out of the lives of people like you and me.  Sometimes we’re like a loving parent: throwing open our arms to embrace the wayward child, washing mud from an embarrassed face, showing with our actions once again the supreme value of every person.  Sometimes we’re more like a resentful sibling: wondering why the troublemaker is getting all of the attention again.  But always we are the children of a God who will never turn away from us no matter how determined we are to head in the wrong direction.

“Today is a good day to choose grace; to remember our own need for forgiveness, and to let go of all the requirements we hold for others.  Above all, my hope today is that you will know God as the adoring parent whose love is unconditional and who waits by the door to welcome you home.”