Two Anniversaries

 June 20, 2021

The anniversary of a loved one’s death often comes with sadness. Memories forgotten in the busyness of day to day life resurface on anniversaries, bearing emotions that grow and swell when they reach the air. 

It’s doubled for me. My father died on June 17, 2012. It was Father’s Day, which means most years, it all surfaces twice. I’ve told and retold the story of how blessed we were to have him come back to life the previous March when the Veteran’s Administration funded new digital hearing aids that enabled him to once more participate in meaningful conversations that had been denied him by his deafness, but the anniversary of his passing is more than a story about that particular day. After all, had there not been all those years before when he gave of himself for our sake, there would have been nothing to mourn on that, or any subsequent Father’s Day. 

I could recount story after story to reveal the quality of his character, but one will suffice for today. 

Mom had a rough time with the change of life, which meant dad did, too…but he never wavered even when it would have been easy for him to do so. There was a very attractive younger woman in his office; I can say that because I met her once. She was very attractive. She also was an immigrant with no close family, and it was quite plain that she became quite fond of my father. He listened to her when she spoke of her loneliness, and she took that as interest which she pursued. Dad would have none of it. He remained kind, but let her know in no uncertain terms that he was devoted to mom. I’ve known many men who when faced with the kind of offer dad got, would take the bait like a hungry fish. I don’t know if dad knew he was teaching me a lesson back then; I suspect he was just being himself—a man of integrity, a man of his word. When years before he said, “till death us do part,” he meant it, and I saw it in action. This kind of integrity doesn’t get taught by reading a book. It is learned by reading a life. I studied that chapter years ago, and my children and grandchildren are the beneficiaries of that lesson learned so many years ago.