I’m My Own Hangman

February 16, 2019

It all began innocently enough; a simple question my daughter texted me. “Do you read music?” 

“Yes.”

“I was talking to Nicole Zenns (Our school’s music teacher). They need an upright bass for the musical.” I could almost feel the noose tightening. There was just one odd problem—I was the one holding the other end of the rope.

“I’d have to see the music. I’m absolutely terrible with the bow.” We went back and forth for a few more texts. This morning I volunteered to take Jessie’s kids to musical practice so I could talk with Mrs. Zenns. We had a lovely conversation and I came home with the bass music; as if life isn’t busy enough. 

“So what are you going to give up to do this?” was Linda’s reaction. I don’t like to admit it, but she’s right. I can’t keep adding stuff to my schedule without subtracting something else. I just don’t know what that something could be. It doesn’t help to tell myself that I’m only checking it out; that I haven’t actually committed to doing it yet. The music looks doable for the most part. I just don’t know what the trade off will be.

I always cringe when I hear retired people say, “I’m so busy I don’t know how I found time to work.” It’s easy—we said “No” to a lot of things we might liked to have done, and we were much more efficient in the use of our time. In retirement, the work expands to fill the time we give it, and we get a bit lazy; sleeping in a bit, allowing ourselves to get distracted, actually doing some of the things we’ve wanted to do for years, but couldn’t find the time. Actually, I’m glad to be busy. There are plenty of people I know who would like to be, but cannot. They just sit and wait. To die. 

So, maybe I’ll do the musical; maybe not. Either way, I’m going to go over the music and be thankful for the opportunity and for the ability to say “yes” even if I say “no.”