Control

December 2, 2018

It’s easy to trust God when you have control of the reins, not so easy when someone else is calling the shots; even less so when you don’t even know what shots are being called. Take retirement, for example. When I was pastoring full time, I was in the know on most of what was happening, and was able to put my stamp on much of it. The church program and emphases were largely a product of the vision I had for it. I say this not to brag, but simply to state a fact. Whether the direction and emphasis were correct could be open for discussion, but I definitely had my hand on the wheel and had a pretty clear picture of where I thought we should go and what we should be as a congregation.

In retirement, I’ve had to let go of that, and it at times can be an odd feeling. The closest analogy I can find is that of driving the car. Most of the time when we travel somewhere, I do the driving. I have my hand on the wheel and it’s my foot on the gas. I have a feel for the road and how the car is responding to the various road conditions. Occasionally, Linda drives and I often find myself glancing at the speedometer or applying the brakes that aren’t there. She is a good driver, but I’m not in control and it doesn’t feel right.

I’ve been pulpit supply in Dunkirk for over a year now. Pastoring a city church is different than what I’ve been used to, and to be honest, I haven’t a clue as to how to do it successfully. We’re a small congregation, and need to grow to remain viable. I’ve tried everything I can think of to grow the church, but we stay the same. We aren’t shrinking, but we also aren’t growing, and I am faced with the realization that I’m not in control.

Pastors talk a lot about walking by faith, but I suspect few of us really have to do much of it. It doesn’t take a lot of faith to call the shots, make the decisions, set the direction of the organization. It takes a lot more faith to follow someone else’s leadership when you’ve not been part of the decision-making process. It takes a lot of faith to keep on preaching when you don’t know what you’re doing. 

So tonight, I’m thankful that when I don’t know what I’m doing, and when I yielded the leadership of the church to another, that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is ultimately about trusting that he is in control. It’s his Church, his future into which we are moving, and his glory we seek. When I can’t figure things out, I can trust him. I think it was Rick Warren who said, “When I can’t trace his hand, I can trust his heart.” So true. So thankful.