Agitation

July 23, 2018

The realm of the spirit can be a strange place. The Bible tells us that we are pilgrims in a foreign land; having done a bit of traveling in other lands, I can attest to feeling out of place and not belonging. In Cuba, it’s mild; I certainly don’t understand most of the language, but I can stumble my way through with my sub-elementary Spanish. The cultural milieu however, is something one almost has to be born into. 

Mongolia was a step further afield for me, while Nepal, India, China, and Korea were completely other-worldly with written and spoken languages totally indecipherable to this English-only American. I like the pilgrimage, am eager to learn, but at my age, those places will always be other-worldly to me.

John Bunyan wrote about this from an English prison cell sometime before 1678, in his allegory entitled appropriately enough, “Pilgrim’s Progress,” which has been said to be second in popularity only to the Bible in the English speaking world. In it, the hero Christian journeys through this world on his way to the world to come, meeting obstacles and trials along the way. Bunyan recognized along with the Biblical writers, that this world in which we live is not our real home; that we are passing through on the way to our eternal dwelling. 

And yet in this world, hints of that other world intrude, often with strange results. St Paul tells us that we wage war, not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, the rulers of this world’s darkness, entities that cannot be touched or seen, but which are as real as the people who surround us every day. 

This afternoon, I’ve been feeling agitated. I haven’t been able to figure out why. There is little in my life that warrants such agitation. Linda and I are happy together, we are secure in our home, our children love Christ, we enjoy good health. But I can literally feel the agitation within me; it’s a physical jitteriness that won’t go away. Perhaps it’s merely a physiological thing; too much coffee or too little sleep, but I don’t think all that I’m feeling can be chalked up to this natural world. Problem is, it’s hard to concentrate enough to pray, and I’m having a hard time shutting my mind down enough even to be quiet in the Presence of God, so he can speak to me. That’s why I say this realm of the spirit is such a foreign place. I’m navigating through it, and every so often, I come across a troll or dragon I’ve never seen before, and have to fight my way through with the weapons I’ve been given, even if I’m not sure exactly how to wield them at any given moment. 

What I do have is the promise of Scripture assuring me that the weapons of my warfare, though they be not fleshly (of this world), are still mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, taking every thought captive to Christ. (2 Cor. 10:4-5). I am working hard to capture every thought, even those hiding in the recesses of my heart where I can’t see and identify them. Like herding cats, they keep trying to get away, and I have to keep reeling them back in. 

Paul goes on to say, “Do you look on things after the outward appearance? If anyone trust to himself that he is Christ’s, let him think of himself this—that as he is Christ’s, so we are Christ’s.” (V. 7). Paul is defending his ministry, but in doing so, is also reminding me that as I walk this sometimes confusing inner world, I am always Christ’s. That is good enough for me, and cause for my thanksgiving tonight.