Following in Fear

November 13, 2017

St. Mark tells us that Jesus and his disciples were going up to Jerusalem and, “as they followed, they were afraid.” It’s a pretty amazing statement: They followed, and were afraid. He had been telling them what would be in store when they arrived at their destination, and it scared them. But not enough to deter them. In spite of their fear, they followed. 

This was no Sunday afternoon jaunt; there was no promise of prosperity, health, and happiness. Jesus had told them clearly that a cross awaited, and they were all too familiar with the terrors of crucifixion. No one in their right mind would knowingly seek such torture. And if this was to be the fate of their Leader, their was no insurance that they would escape a similar death by such cruel and horrific means. If a price was on his head, it was on theirs, too. They were afraid, and rightly so. And yet they followed. With the exception of Judas, not a single one turned back. Though they still hadn’t grasped even the basics of his teachings, they followed. Afraid they might be, but they still followed.

Jesus didn’t chide them for their fears as he had on numerous occasions before. This was serious business, for which they had reason to fear. I think that as they walked, he must have been quietly pleased, knowing that they were finally “getting it,” in spite of their fears. Courage is not the same as fearlessness. One can be a fool and be fearless. Courage is moving forward in spite of one’s fears. That is what the disciples did, and I think Jesus was proud of them for it.

How often I’ve given in to my fears, preferring to be a Christian incognito instead of boldly following! How many times I have like Peter, denied I knew him—maybe not in so many words; but I’ve done it, warming my hands by the fires of the ungodly, hoping no one would notice. They were afraid, and rightly so, but they still followed. I am convicted by these simple men who knew better than most the cost of discipleship, and yet chose to stay with Christ rather than melt back into the crowd. I am thankful tonight for these six words that are like arrows to my soul, cutting to the heart of the matter, challenging me to faithfully follow, no matter what...even though afraid.