This evening Linda was sharing some insights she had obtained while reading her Bible in the morning. We talked about them, and I commented that it has been some time since the Scriptures have "come alive" for me. Periodically I go through these spells when no matter where I read, it just doesn't register as anything more than words on a page, and I begin to resonate with some of the Psalms where the writer cries out, wondering where God is in his troubles. I can't say as I'm experiencing any particular troubles at the moment. By all human measures, my life is pretty good with perhaps the exception of my right foot which continues to throb if I am on it too long. But that's pretty minor, and certainly doesn't figure into whatever spiritual struggle I'm having at the moment.
I listen to people speak glowingly of how God spoke to them and of their relationship with Christ; when I read the Scriptures, I see texts such as Jesus telling us how he wants us to know him as he knows the Father, or Paul stretching forth, leaving all behind "that [he] might know Christ..." Sometimes I don't know what to do with that kind of language. I understand what it means to know my wife, to be in relationship with her. Sometimes it is filled with tenderness and peace, but at other times we experience tension or just the plain humdrum of daily life where stuff needs to be done whether we feel like it or not. When the Bible tells me to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, I often falter with the first two facets of that command, not knowing how that works. Loving God with my mind and strength-I get it. Don't get me wrong; I love emotional highs as much as anyone; but instead of being the territory in which I live, most of the time I'm a visitor, just passing through. So, I'm more at home with the Scriptures that speak of following Christ. That I know how to do.
I've been at this long enough to know that the dry spells will pass and the rains will come. I know too, that deep down in our roots, we are desert people. Our faith was forged there, and it's where we meet God. So I'm not too worried, and not anxious to move on. I can even give thanks for the desert, for there are lessons to learn in these dry places, and I know that when I least expect it, God will show up. And when he does, this dry, parched soul will drink deeply and be satisfied.
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