Contentment and Compulsion

 January 7, 2022

My friends Tsoogi and Tsengel regularly send me photos of their work as they share the Gospel with their countrymen living on the steppes of Mongolia. Much of where their work takes them, there are no roads; they drive cross-country from settlement to settlement. Their winters are harsh and unforgiving, the work is challenging, to say the least. But they keep at it, visiting door to door and holding meetings witnessing to everyone they meet about Christ.

They have taken seriously the words of St. Paul, who said, “The love of Christ compels me…” (2 Corinthians 5:14), and in their devotion to the work, put me to shame.

I find myself torn between the wisdom of Ecclesiastes 9:9 and the urgency of Paul. Ecclesiastes urges us to “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun,” while Paul admonishes us to ““Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching.” —II Timothy 4:2 

This morning I sat by the fire reading my Bible and praying. Our back room is a pleasant place, with the wood stove and windows overlooking the creek. The bluejays, woodpeckers, chickadees, finches, and cardinals were squabbling over the seeds in our feeder just outside the window, and I was thinking about what I want to do with my bees come spring. I am content, even when plowing a foot or more of snow this afternoon. 

But as nice as it is, contentment isn’t God’s ultimate purpose for us. So I feel myself torn between contentment and compulsion, preferring the former, but haunted by the latter. I’m not sure where the balance point is, but I know my friends have grasped the compulsion of the Gospel in a way I have not. So as I pray for them, I pray also for myself, that God would search my heart and lead me in his way everlasting (Psalm 139:23).