Futility

June 15, 2020

Turns out the dentist appointment for which I arrived at 9:00 am was actually scheduled for 11:30. Since it’s a forty minute drive, waiting wasn’t practical, so back I go on Friday, hopefully at the right time. A drive to the other end of the county to return the drywall lift we borrowed but didn’t use followed, then to my son’s to start the drywall mudding. My unopened bucket of mud had been around for awhile, but it’s seal had never been broken. Apparently, mold is able to infiltrate a sealed five gallon bucket of drywall compound; instead of pure white, the surface was covered with a nice blue film. Twenty bucks down the drain and a trip to the builder’s supply before we could begin the job.

The entire morning was a series of Keystone Cops scenarios. It was 1:00 pm before anything of any substance was accomplished, and when that was done, I felt just plain weary. My Bible reading for the day was flat; It wasn’t until I made a couple ministry related phone calls that it felt like the day was worth living. 

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychologist imprisoned in Nazi Germany’s concentration camps. He noticed that those who lost hope died, while those who envisioned a future were often able to survive. He concluded that if one had a sufficient “why,” he could withstand almost any “what.” We are seeing all around us the devastation that hopelessness breeds. From people fed up with enforced quarantines with the domestic violence, depression, and suicides, to rioting in the streets, the sense of hopelessness and a lack of purpose is an infection eating away at our very souls. I felt just a bit of it this morning, but I know better. On my drive to the dentist office this morning, I reveled in the beauty all around me, knowing full well there are millions in our cities who never get to see such things as forests and fields, cattle and vineyards. If after all that, I can find myself in a funk of purposelessness, it’s no wonder we’re seeing the disruption, destruction, and depression in our society.

I am thankful tonight that my feeling of futility is only temporary, that I have a God who has the future in his hands, and that those same hands hold me. Lord willing, tomorrow, I’ll get up, read my BIble, pray, and get to work. There is plenty to do, and I am itching to get at it. I pity those who get up in the morning with nothing more to look forward to than sitting on a doorstep, getting the next fix, or hanging around playing video games. Even when it doesn’t go as planned, life is a gift worth living, and I intend to live it fully.