Over My Head

February 24, 2020

The problem with living by faith is that it means being in over your head most of the time, sometimes even when we don’t realize we’re in so deep. God beckons and we jump in, only to find out later that it’s deeper than we thought. I thought I had retirement pretty well planned out; I would do the Cuba mission trips a bit more frequently than before, but nothing I couldn’t handle. So I thought. 

My plans took an unexpected turn when my friend Joel died. He had been working for years towards providing church based seminary level pastoral training for Cuban pastors who couldn’t afford to go to seminary. I had worked with him on numerous occasions and thought I had a handle on what he was attempting, but I had underestimated the level of training he had in mind. Last week I met with two other pastors who have been working on this project. They have their doctorate degrees, have taught homiletics, hermeneutics, systematic theology, and church history at the seminary level. I’ve pastored a relatively small, rural congregation for thirty years. I saw the syllabus they were proposing and realized how much I am out of my league. 

When in such situations, it’s easy to begin doubting one’s own abilities and calling, to question one’s place in God’s grand scheme of things, to imagine that everyone else is better than yourself. Comparing ourselves with others seldom yields anything constructive. In our “Ready, Set, Dream” group tonight, we talked about this very subject, and in the course of our conversation, listening, and prayers, I began to think about Jesus’ baptism. It was at the very beginning of his ministry; he hadn’t yet accomplished a single thing, but the Father’s word was “This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. Listen to him.” (Luke 3:22). To put it in modern vernacular, the Father said, [You haven’t yet done anything yet, but] I love you and am proud of you. Hey everyone, pay attention to what he says!”

The Gospel says that by faith, we are in Christ, so what the Father says of him is also true of us. We aren’t accepted because of what we have accomplished, nor are we excluded because of how we’ve failed. It’s all by faith. The Father loves us, is proud of us, and wants to show us off. I still don’t know exactly how who I am and what I have to offer will fit into this educational plan for Cuba; and I don’t know how to accomplish what I believe God is calling me to do regarding a women’s shelter here at home, but I do know that when I trust him, no matter how deep things get, I can walk on water, so tonight even though I’m clueless about God’s methods, I am thankful for his provision. It’s going to be all right.