Following at a Distance

November 6, 2019

“Peter followed at a distance” (Matthew 26:58). Earlier in the evening, Jesus had warned Peter and the others about what lay ahead, encouraging them to “watch, and pray that they not enter into temptation.” Of course, they did neither, instead falling asleep while Jesus faced his trial alone.

And now, when Jesus is being led away by the mob of temple guards to be tried before a kangaroo court that had already judged him guilty, scared Peter followed, but at a distance. It did not turn out well for him that night. He thrice denied even knowing Jesus, and at the last denial when Jesus caught his eye, he broke down and “wept bitterly.” He had failed the One he loved the best, the One who had given him a purpose greater than he had known before. Instead of fishing for fish, he would be a “fisher of men” (Matthew 4:19). Except...he wasn’t. Not yet. He was a denier of the Man who was the measure of all men.

There is a danger to following at a distance. Close enough to know the Truth, but not close enough to let it transform us. It might be better to not follow at all than to follow at a distance, and yet this is what I so often do. It is what so many of us do. We get an inoculation of Jesus—just enough to keep us from catching the real thing, and its consequences are as disastrous for us as it was for Peter. At the crucial moment when more than anything else we want to stand strong, there is a failure of nerve; our backbone turns to jelly, and we cave in to our fears. 

There is a reason we follow at a distance: we fall asleep in our prayers. Jesus stood strong, fortified by the angels that ministered to him as he agonized in prayer earlier that night. Peter’s collapse wasn’t when he denied Jesus. It was when he nodded off. Instead of staying close when Jesus was praying, the distance began to grow in the garden. And so it is with me. The real test of faith is not when facing the questions of a hostile crowd; it’s when we choose (or choose not) to come face to face with God in the garden of prayer. 

I don’t particularly like this Scripture. It challenges me, corrects me, convicts me. And though it makes me uncomfortable, I am thankful for it because I want to follow, but not at a distance.