Thursday, March 3, 2016

Praying Through

March 3, 2016

In our home tonight was a meeting of small group leaders from our church, talking about our groups, what is working and where we struggle. Leading the meeting was Kelly, and she began by asking us how we are doing personally. It was somewhat embarrassing as the former pastor to confess that I have yet to find my stride in retirement, particularly in prayer. It's no secret that prayer is problematic with me, partly because I'm not as verbal as people think. I've made my living for forty years with words, but it was never easy. I know people who are never at a loss for words; in almost any setting they spill forth in a torrent. Not so with me. Linda used to say that I couldn't carry on a decent conversation without notes, and she wasn't too far off the mark.

So when it's time to pray, I often don't know what to say, and after running through the list of people who have special needs, I run out of gas. If prayer isn't anything more than a laundry list of needs we present to God, it isn't much of anything.

Some years ago, we learned that people have different love languages. Just like people speak English, Spanish, and Mandarin, and even if bilingual are always most comfortable in their native tongue, so when it comes to knowing we are loved, and expressing love to another, we have different languages. For some, it is words of affirmation, while others know they are loved by touch, or deeds of kindness, or gifts. For me, it is just spending time together. That's what fills me up. So if God wired me this way, perhaps for me, just spending even wordless time with him is a form of prayer.

At tonight's meeting, Chuck spoke of prayer as opening our hearts to God; having a conversation about what is happening in our lives. I remember watching "Fiddler on the Roof" some years ago, and listening to Tevye having conversations with God where he would ask questions and give his opinions. In one scene, he opined that he knew it was no sin to be poor, but that it was no great blessing, either. He was conversing with God as he would with a neighbor. All I know is, I'm no great conversationalist, so just investing the time is a start. Beyond that, I'm going to start turning my random thoughts into prayers. I'm not sure what that will look like, but it will be better than simply running through a list of needs. If God truly wants relationship with us, then any movement we make towards him is surely to be rewarded. I'm grateful tonight for this meeting that turned my thoughts to prayer. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

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