Saturday, August 23, 2014

Pastoral Eschatology

August 23, 2014

The countdown is on! I'm down to my last two weddings, one for my nephew next week, then a final one for a young woman whom I've known since she was born. It's always special to officiate for family, and my last wedding, for Heather and Matt, will be especially poignant as my very last one, for someone I've known for so long. It's quite a privilege to officiate at the wedding of someone you baptized years before, then watched grow up to follow Christ as an adult. Some time ago, I went through my records; I've married more than 300 couples. When I was reviewing and reminiscing, I got to wondering how many of those I married are still together. I probably don't want to know. As a pastor, a lot of time, energy, and prayer went into each one. I suspect for at least a few of them, I put more effort into their marriage than they did.

Then there are those who "got it," and are going strong twenty and thirty years later. None of them has been without problems. I told today's couple that two imperfect people can't put a perfect marriage together. It can be good, but never perfect. Life is filled with problems and challenges, and if we expect them, it's easier to accept them. At the start, Linda and I weren't much different than most young couples. We thought we knew what love was all about, but in reality were pretty clueless. God's grace continually amazes us. How is it we didn't make the fatal mistakes that some did? How is it that we knew how to give and forgive? How is it we understood that marriage isn't about controlling another person or shaping that person into one's own image? We are daily conscious of our need for Christ's love, because we know that there are times when we don't have enough in ourselves to carry us through the rough spots. And we have been surrounded by good people who have loved us, prayed for us, and who believe in us and in marriage.

When I think of some of the stupid things I've done, the harmful things I've said, it's a wonder Linda has put up with me all these years. We used to joke that "divorce" was never in our marital vocabulary; murder, maybe; divorce, never. We've toned that one down in light of the numbers of people who actually chose murder over divorce. The fact is, the consequences of one of us leaving seemed worse than working things out. Too many people we loved would have been affected. So, we worked things through, and worked on being better persons ourselves. We grew comfortable in our own skin, which is a good thing, because those skins are getting a little threadbare in places. And in the process, we've discovered a love that we couldn't have even imagined forty years ago. Amazingly enough, Linda told me just this morning that there's no one with whom she would rather spend time than me, which only echoes my own heart for her.

In just a couple more weeks, I'll officiate at my last wedding, except of course, the ones my grandchildren request. The robe will hang in my closet, waiting for those granddaughters to find the young men who can pass scrutiny (and for the grandsons, too0. Till then, I am grateful for the privilege I've had to be there at the beginning for so many. I've done my best, which hasn't always been good enough, but there are those who listened and who truly gave themselves to Christ. I see many of them on Sunday mornings, accompanied by their children, and am humbled to have been part of the legacy they are leaving. It's been a good day, and a good life, for which I am deeply grateful.

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