How can one measure the value of a legacy? The Scriptures tell us that a good name is to be prized above great riches (Proverbs 22:1). The Bailey/Rother reunion gathered at my brother's house today, nearly 50 people, counting all the kids running around. My mother, her sister, two of their cousins and their husbands, three of my four cousins with their spouses, my brother and his wife, their kids and grandkids, my sister, Linda and myself and all three of our kids, their spouses and kids. It was glorious!
We've only been getting together like this for a few years. My aunt and uncle and cousins were spread up and down the eastern seaboard for years. I remember the day we brought my folks up north from Florida where they wintered for years. Mom cried for miles while her words echoed in my ears: "I'll never see my sister again." Turns out her fears were unfounded, and when my uncle developed dementia and died a few years ago, Aunt Marion moved back up north to be near her only daughter and her only sister. I officiated at my uncle's memorial service held at the shores of Canandaigua Lake where they had lived during my childhood. We had such a good time seeing my cousins that we decided to make it a regular event.
When we were growing up, we didn't see each other on a regular basis, but on Christmas Eve, our family piled in the car and headed to their home in Canandaigua, NY. They lived on a dead end street at the top of a hill overlooking the village. Today we would call it a cul-de-sac, but we weren't that hoity-toity back then. Aunt Marion always regaled us with her lasagna, after which my cousins and Uncle Ray walked down the street to the Catholic Church to attend Christmas Eve Mass. When they got home, we all donned our winter coats, boots, hats, and mittens, and spilled out the door in a kid frenzy of excitement: it was time to go Christmas caroling!
Along with Sir Christopher Jiggs, the neighborhood Bassett hound, we headed to the next-door neighbors where we knocked, sang, and cajoled them into joining the chorus. So it went, down and back up the street, adding carolers at each house till the entire neighborhood was gathered, whereupon we headed crosslots down the hill to the Witherspoons, the rich people of the neighborhood. They weren't even on my cousin's street, but after singing to them, everyone was invited inside for hot chocolate and cookies. I suspect the grownups' cups may have warmed their insides in a different way than ours, but it was great fun and memories I will carry to my grave.
Today as we gathered, I looked around and marveled at how everyone got along with everyone else. I'm not always the best read of a situation, but the conversations were filled with laughter, the kid cousins all played together without the disagreements, tattling, tears and drama that so often plague family gatherings. I caught up on my cousins' lives, made tentative plans for future gatherings (Tom, I'm putting you on notice right now that Billings is in my calendar!), and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. I've watched too many families disintegrate before my eyes, been called into too many too-late-to-do-any-good counseling sessions to imagine that my experience is the norm. No family is perfect, but the heritage I've received from my mother and father, passed to them from their parents, is a jewel I treasure more with each passing year. Love is a beautiful thing, and we've been blessed with an abundance of it. Jesus said that to whom much is given, much shall be required. I hope I've been a good steward of that which was entrusted to me.
An old man planted an apple sapling, knowing that he would never see the tree in its maturity giving shade and fruit. He didn't plant it for himself, but for generations to come. My prayer is that the seeds that were planted in me, like a tree planted generations ago, will bear fruit and bless not only my children and grandchildren, but also others whom I may never meet. Bailey/Rother, Rother/Bailey...however spelled, they are good names, and shall remain so, if we but keep them.
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