June 10, 2023

“What’s more important; that you are right, or your relationship is right?” That’s the question God posed to me one morning forty years ago after Linda and I had a bit of a disagreement before I was out the door for work. When I got to the office, I was reaching for the phone so I could apologize, when it rang. Linda had called to apologize to me. 

Over the years, that lesson has been reinforced many times. Like any couple, we have our moments when we’ve yielded to the temptation to press home a point. It’s amazing to me how much we are willing to lose in order to be “right.” I’ve learned the hard way that swallowing my pride goes down easier than eating crow.

Last night, to take the chill off, I had built a fire in the stove in our back room. I damped it down for the night, and all was well…or so I thought. This morning when I woke up, the whole house smelled smoky, and about 6:00 am, the CO monitor went off. I had just opened the door to the stove so the smoldering wood could fully ignite when Linda appeared, looking none too happy. She thought I had tried to start a fire without using a fire starter, a technique I had tried last winter with rather unappealing effect. I tried to explain what had happened, but really had no knowledge of why the house smelled as it did, or why the monitor was blaring throughout the house.

This afternoon, we were in Buffalo to have lunch with my brother and sister in law, my sister, and one of her daughters. We had a wonderful time, but on the way home, I wanted to stop at Home Depot to pick up a box of screws for the garden swing I’m building—a task that should have taken only a couple minutes. After picking up the box, I figured I might as well get the rest of the hardware I would need. Unfortunately, that took a bit longer, and Linda wasn’t particularly pleased when I finally got back to the car.

Fortunately for me, with two incidents in one day, Linda gets over being mad a lot more quickly than I do, but I must say that it helps for me to remember that being right isn’t nearly as important than our relationship being right, and that explanations almost always negate apologies. Four days ago, we celebrated 53 years together. That has been possible because we both learned that “us” being right is better than “me” being right. And it sure helps that I married a forgiving and patient woman. The Scripture says, “Love covers a multitude of sins.” It also covers a lot of stupidity.