Called

January 29, 2020

“Our problem is we’re not used to the word ‘sacrifice.’” Not exactly the words I wanted to hear. It was Jeff’s response to what I had shared with my prayer team what I believe God is calling me to do at this stage in life. I suppose it’s time to share it with you.

I was speaking to Cuban pastors about leadership from 1 Samuel 14 the story of Jonathan, son of king Saul. While his father dithered in camp, Jonathan decided he couldn’t stand the thought of the Philistines dishonoring the God of Israel. He and his armor bearer are at the bottom of a steep hill—a cliff, actually—while the enemy peers down at them from above. He gets the not-so-bright idea to show himself to the enemy and see what they do in response; not exactly what you would call brilliant tactics. “If they say, ‘Come up to us,’ we’ll go up. It means the Lord has delivered them into our hands.” The Philistines called, they climbed up on their hands and knees, and quickly dispatched about twenty of the garrison.

I told the pastors that God’s will is often discerned when our enemy or problem calls to us. As I spoke, I saw in my mind the face of the homeless woman we worked with last month. In the course of working with her, I learned that there are no homeless shelters for women in all of Chautauqua County. I had brushed it off as a bit of sad information until it came roaring back at me as I spoke to these pastors. How could I speak with integrity about how God leads us while ignoring the challenge right in front of me? 

Not being too happy with this, I told God, “You must be kidding! I know nothing about running a women’s shelter, don’t know anyone who does, have no money, no place, no staff. I like being home at night. And besides, men don’t run women’s shelters. Did you forget how you made me, God? If you don’t mind, I’ll politely decline.” People say God always answers prayer. I’m here to say there are times he just ignores my pleading. He’s been doing this with me, totally uninterested in my opinion on the matter. It scares me half to death, but there is also a part of me getting excited about the possibilities. Then Jeff’s remark comes barreling at me like a runaway bus. Nothing worthwhile comes until we’re ready to sacrifice. As much as I don’t want to, I know it’s coming. Linda and I had a conversation about this today. By conversation, I mean, she talked and I listened. If things begin to jell, something’s going to have to give. I think I know what one of those things is, but time will tell. At any rate, as unsettling as it is, I am grateful that God doesn’t appear to be finished with me yet. If he can call Moses at 80, I guess he can call me at 70.