Linda

December 9, 2019

When Linda and I were dating, the one thing about her that consistently got under my skin was how she would help someone else even to her own detriment. Whether it was spending half the night listening to a girlfriend distraught over breaking up with her boyfriend even though she had a test the next day, or playing her heart out in a basketball game when her hip was hurting, others always took precedent over herself.

After we were married, it was the same with whoever was in our lives at the time. Youth group kids, neighbor couples, even strangers who (I’m not making this up) would pour out their hearts to her while in line at a store. When our kids came along, it just intensified. I can remember her staying up long after I had worn out and gone to bed. She was listening intently to Matt, who played his cards pretty close. She would listen for hours for that five minutes when he finally bared his soul to her. I was not so patient.

If there was anything we argued about, it was her consistent failure to take care of herself. It took me a long time to understand that if I “fixed” what frustrated me about her, I would lose what I loved most about her. Instead of trying to convince her to be different, somewhere along the way I learned to accept her as she is, and even to admire her for it. I can’t claim any great wisdom in all this, but I am grateful tonight that by the grace of God, I didn’t succeed in changing her.