This was an evening I'd been looking forward to for a whole month. Linda and I attended the Trinity Guitars Backroom Radio Hour show, which was an unusually generous gift on her part. You see, Linda likes music, but she likes it softly in the background or singing along in worship. Just sitting and listening to music is not only not up her alley; it's not even in the same city. So since last month when she said she would come with me, I've been basking in the glow of what I know is a pure gift of love. It was a wonderful evening.
On the way into town we talked about our relationship with God. She's been feeling closer to him than she has in quite awhile, as she's been extra diligent in her reading and prayers. We talked among other things about liturgy as a means of approaching God; of course, we are completely different in this regard. It helps me, hinders her. Whenever anyone tells me that they can't stay married because they're so incompatible, I have to work hard at stifling a laugh. I can't think of any two people who are more incompatible than she and I. She is energized by people; I am drained by them. In high school and college she was into sports; I was into music. She likes to regularly move the furniture around; I'd be content to leave it where it is. I told her about the more liturgical pattern I've been using, and the problem I encountered the past few days in my devotions.
I've been reading in Psalms 80, 85, and 89 the heart cry of the psalmist calling out for God to deliver his people, followed by readings in Isaiah 61 where it says,
"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."
This is the text Jesus quoted at the beginning of his ministry, telling the people that it was being fulfilled in him. The readings have been similar for the past three days, but the problem for me is that 2,000 years after Jesus spoke them, the world doesn't seem to be a much better place. The twentieth century was unsurpassed for brutality and wholesale destruction of life and property. Hundreds of millions of people murdered by their own governments, let alone wars and crime of all sorts. Then when I think of the unimaginable magnitude of the universe, the thought that there is a God who made it all, yet cares for me is almost unbelievable. I really can't fault the agnostic for doubting it. If I allow my mind to take me down those roads, I end up in a place I don't want to be. So tonight Psalm 131 is my comfort.
"My heart is not proud, LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore."
There are things too big for me, so I often have to calm my soul by leaning in close to God like a little child leans in to his mother. Often I feel like Peter when the crowds turned away from following Jesus. Jesus asked his disciples if they were going to leave, too. Peter's answer reflects my own heart: "Where can we go? You have the words of life." Although there was much he didn't understand, questions about life that were unanswered, he somehow knew that here in this Man was something he could find nowhere else. And that something was Life.
The Backroom Radio Hour highlights a different charity each month. Tonight it was Compassion International, a group that links people with resources to impoverished children around the world, giving them food, clothing, and an education, but more importantly, hope and faith in Christ. As Jim Holler talked about his own involvement in the organization, he quoted Mother Theresa: "You may not be able to change the world, but you can change the world for someone." Those words spoke to my need tonight. I don't have all the answers I'd like to have, and this old world is stubborn in its resistance to grace, but I can make a difference for someone, so in spite of my questions, I'm not giving up or giving in. Why should I? I have a Savior who died for me, and a wife whose love includes sitting through music programs with nothing to do with her hands except hold mine. Which makes me a blessed and thankful man tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment