Time With God

September 7, 2016

It's easy to forget how relationships work. When we do, we usually end up expecting more than the relationship can deliver. Young couples used to come to me wanting to get married. Although we talked about how relationships work, I suspect most of them thought they would be the exception; that they would be the couple who lived happily ever after, with nary so much as a ripple to spoil the glassy surface of their life together. Of course, that never happened. Two imperfect people cannot possibly create a perfect marriage. There are always issues of power and control, selfishness and sacrifice, the need to give and receive forgiveness. Anyone who has been married for more than a couple hours knows this.

So why should it surprise me when my relationship with Christ has its ups and downs, its moments of joy and of disappointment? But the fact of the matter is, whenever I pick up my Bible or pause to pray, I expect that I will receive a revelation, feel God's presence, be lifted to new planes of spiritual experience. In fact, that rarely happens. Most of the time, it feels like I'm just going through the motions, doing the routine, checking "devotions" off the list. The fault is not God's; it always lies with me. Too often, I'm not ready, haven't prepared myself, in effect, casually strolling into the presence of the Almighty God and wondering why I'm not granted an audience. Life with Christ is a relationship, and like any relationship, there are failures, misunderstandings, imperfections, only in this case, they are always one-sided.

My marital love language is time. Linda doesn't have to give me things, doesn't have to talk to me, doesn't have to do things for me. All she needs to fill up my heart is to spend time with me. If that's how God wired me, it makes sense that my relationship with him works the same way. I need to spend blocks of time with him, just being in his presence. Which means I must make some decisions. There's only so much time in a day, so to give God the time I need to hear from him, I may have to curtail other activities. Even then, I don't expect that every time I pick up my Bible or bow my knees I will experience some rending of the heavens. Relationships don't work that way, and sometimes God hides himself to see if we are in earnest about seeking him.

So tonight I will lay my head down, once more ask forgiveness for the sins of the day, offer intercessions for those in need, and do my best to offer myself unreservedly to Christ. What he does with all that is his business, and I know his grace is not dependent on my perception of it. For that, I am grateful tonight.

It's Good to be Home

September 6, 2016

It's a cliché, tried and true: "We don't miss it till it's gone." Of course we don't; if we still have it, we can't miss it. We can however, take it for granted. I'm pretty much an introvert. I don't mind alone time; in fact, I thrive on it. But even the introvert was made in the image of the triune God whose very nature is fellowship. A few years ago, I slowly drifted away from the area pastor's prayer gathering. At times, it just didn't feel like a good fit for me, and I had become involved in a mentoring relationship that was very fulfilling, and met at the same time as the prayer group.

I was still in active pastoral ministry at the time, and had many opportunities to engage other pastors, but then I retired. It took awhile for the ripple effect of retirement to hit the shores of my introversion, but I began to realize that there is still a pastoral part of me inside that was starving. I needed time with other pastors. I hadn't realized it at the time, but I was neglecting a Scriptural command I've preached about many times. It's Hebrews 10:25; "Don't neglect gathering yourselves together as is the practice of some, but encourage one another..." When it comes to weekly worship, I'm spot on with this, but I had a huge blind spot when it came to encouraging my fellow pastors. You see, this Scriptural command isn't just about my need for encouragement, but also about my need to be an encourager. I was doing it one-on-one, but had completely missed the boat with my colleagues.

The Bible has a way of cutting through to the heart of the matter, exposing the hypocrisies we aren't even aware of. I'm grateful that God doesn't give up on us when in our blindness we miss the plain Word of God. It was good to be back. I'm sure there will be times I chafe against it, but I need the iron sharpening iron that happens when men of God get together. And amazingly enough, they need me.

Now It Begins

September 5, 2016

Summer is officially over. Labor Day has come and almost gone; the remnants of the last summer picnic are scattered across the lawn, the tables are down, the lawn chairs put away, the parents of young children have long since headed home to put their progeny in bed early. School looms. Little Gemma is excited to be going to preschool, but the others are bemoaning the end of the long, lazy days of summer and the early mornings that await them for the next nine months. I contend that something is drastically wrong with an educational system that in two short years can transform a child's natural curiosity and love of learning into dread and apprehension. A wise preacher once said that it is a sin to bore people with the Word of God. The same can be said of our educational system.

It's been a good summer for us. Lots of outdoors projects got scratched off the list, and the few remaining ones will bite the dust soon. I've sensed a renewal and readjustment of direction and purpose that I anticipate will give form and substance to my life for some time to come. I'm slowly settling into this reality of no longer having the responsibility for leading Park church; instead, I'm discovering what it means to be in a supportive role, which can be somewhat awkward at times, even though it is a good place for me to be.

I'm developing a new appreciation for lay Christians. When I was pastoring, my spiritual care was part of the job description. If I let things slide, everything would begin to unravel. The job both demanded, and provided the opportunity for Bible study, prayer, ancillary Christian reading, and works of charitable nature. I think at times I took for granted the spirituality of my people, not realizing how difficult it can be to attend to spiritual disciplines while juggling family, job, and a host of other responsibilities. If growth in discipleship was slow, part of it was due to literally not having the time to pursue God. Our modern American culture has us pushing and busy all the time, and swimming against that stream is like trying to navigate up the Niagara River in a canoe. Bucking that tide is a daunting task, and tomorrow it all begins in earnest once more.

So I pray for our young families, for the parents who are trying to raise their children to love Jesus in a world that values everything else. I pray for the kids who are trying to live faithfully in a world much more hostile to our faith than the world I faced as a teenager. And I pray for our pastor who is trying to lead faithfully his people to be faithful. And I am thankful to have been released from much of that pressure. May I be faithful to help those still in the grind to see and follow Jesus who sees them in love.

Emma

September 4, 2016

We can hear it as we pull into our driveway, a high-pitched yipping that turns into instant energy that bursts upon us as we open the front door. Emma is glad we're home. She squeals, she dances, she runs in circles in utter ecstasy. We don't have one of those fancy electronic fences, and we failed to train her as well as we should have, so when we go away, Emma gets locked in the house after we've secured the furniture by shutting the bedroom doors and putting the dining room chairs on the stuffed chair and living room couch which she otherwise thinks are there for her convenience and pleasure. If we're going to be gone for an entire day or overnight, she gets to visit her friend Ruby courtesy of our very gracious daughter and son in law. For shorter stretches, she is confined to our house, apparently a great infraction of canine law.

Everyone should at least once in their lifetime be the cause of such wild joy. We would be happy to make that happen by renting Emma out for an afternoon. You will never have felt so wanted as you will when you walk in your front door to Emma's antics. Of course, I'm not reflecting on Emma's joy at our return because it has significance for world history. I'm thinking tonight of Jesus' promised return for his bride, the Church. He's been a long time gone, and it's tempting to think he's never coming back, much like Emma's small brain can't tell whether we're gone for good, or just for a short while. It's been a long time, but his promise is greater than the centuries, and his coming is nearer today than it was yesterday.

The question is, "How will we receive him?" Do I wait with eager anticipation, listening for the sound of his footsteps outside the door, or am I slumbering senselessly, not paying attention, not caring, not looking for his soon return? I wonder if I will receive him joyfully, with shouts of joy and praiseworthy dancing, or if I will be wishing he would stay away so I can attend to my own business and desires. Emma can be exasperating at times, but there is no doubt about her love and loyalty to us. May Jesus be able to say the same about us; that though we may be exasperating, our loyalty is unquestioned. Tonight I am thankful for Emma, our loyal and loveable mutt who unwittingly teaches me about myself and about Jesus' Second Coming.

A Happy Ending

September 3, 2016

Reading together by the fire after a long day's work makes for a beautiful way to end the week. Most of the day was spent building a woodshed. A couple sections of roof, then weatherguard and shingles, and one more project gets scratched off my list, and a very satisfying scratch it will be! Earlier today, Matt and I took a truckload of old motorcycle parts to be sandblasted as preparation for painting. A few hundred dollars and a couple weeks down the road, we should be able to start assembly. Come spring, it will be another project done, one that has literally been a lifetime in the making. Matt will get to enjoy it more than I, but that's OK; finishing the build will be reward enough for me.

Yesterday I commented on the full calendar of events looming before us. It will be busy, but we are busy with the people who fill our lives with joy. In between, are the projects, most of which are things that have been on the back burner for years, waiting for the time when I could get to them. I wish I had a good comeback for all the retired people who tell me that they're so busy they don't know how they found time to work. I'm busy, but it's with matters of my own choosing. Scratching things off my list feels good, but there will always be more that gets added on. The people however, don't get scratched off. They remain, giving meaning and purpose to the projects. My main project purpose sat with me by the fire tonight, making a perfect ending to the day.

Time for Perspective

September 2, 2016

Pattern. Schedule. Regularity. Ordinary. Sometimes I rebel against these things. Linda and I sat down after breakfast this morning to map out our calendars for the year. With eight grandkids in three different school districts, swim meets, soccer games, choral and instrumental concerts can get a bit daunting, especially when two or three events are scheduled for the same day. And that's just the school activities of the grandkids; we haven't even talked about our own stuff. Linda will soon begin teaching her exercise class, going to swimming, breakfast meetings, library board, women's Bible study, while I meet with people most of the day on Tuesdays, have band rehearsal twice a week, men's Bible study, teaching bass on Sunday evenings, meetings for the prison ministry, and assorted other commitments. Just looking at the calendar sometimes makes me want to crawl into a hole. I'm not a people person, and constant activities drain me. I had made the assumption that retirement would mean I could do what I want when I wanted. Not quite.

It's at times like this that the ordinary, the mundane and banal appeal to me. The fourth Commandment that we honor the Sabbath day has fallen out of favor in our secular, busy world, but our need for rest, for time to step back from everyday life so we can get some perspective, is as important today as when that commandment was first given. We take time with God in the morning so that we can orient our minds and hearts before the day thrusts itself upon us. I need similar time in the evening to lay the day to rest, to offer thanks for the grace offered me, ask forgiveness for my failures and shortcomings, and to place it all in the hands of the God whose love is so deep that he gave up his Son to the Cross so we could have new and abundant life.

Above all, I am looking forward two days for that weekly grace given where the entire day is set aside for holy purposes. It will help me reorient for the busy week to come, an adjustment I will sorely need and gratefully receive.

An Open Door

September 1, 2016

A regular prayer of mine is that God will give me opportunities to bear witness to his love and salvation in Jesus Christ, that I will recognize them when they come, and that I will have the courage and determination to make the most of them. Opportunities are of little use if we don't see them, and they are often disguised as problems which often we'd prefer to avoid. Fortunately, one of the benefits of my prayer is that it sensitizes me to those very opportunities I used to miss. But opportunities recognized do little good if we shrink from the work or danger in which they come wrapped.

I am grateful tonight for those opportunities that still come my way, and for the grace given me to recognize them. My prayer tonight is for the wisdom to know the best way to respond to the opportunity God is giving me, and the courage to actually walk through the door that has opened just a wee crack. God isn't done with me, and I am not done with God. There is still much to be done, and I want to be the man to do it. By his grace, I am.