Freedom

 May 7, 2021

It’s been a long and busy day and evening, so tonight’s musings are not my own, but are the meditations of the Orthodox cleric John of Kronstadt concerning how sin destroys our freedom.

“Let no one think that sin is something unimportant – no, sin is a terrible evil, that destroys the soul, both now and in the future life. The sinner in the future life will be bound hand and foot (meaning the soul) and cast into outer darkness. As the Savior said: "Bind him hand and foot and cast him into outer darkness;" that is, he entirely loses the freedom of his spiritual powers, which, being created for free activity, suffer through this a kind of overwhelming inactivity for every good work: in his soul the sinner recognizes his powers and at the same time he feels that these powers are bound by unbreakable chains – "he shall be holden with the cords of his sin." 

“To this must be added the terrible torment arising from the very sins themselves, from the consciousness of our own foolishness during the earthly life, and from the image of the angry Creator. Even in this present life sin binds and destroys the soul. What God-fearing man does not know what sorrow and oppression strike his soul, what torturing, burning fire rages in his breast when he has sinned? But besides binding and destroying the soul as it does temporarily, sin also destroys it eternally if we do not repent here of our sins and our iniquities from our whole heart. Here is also a proof by experience that sin destroys the soul temporarily and eternally. If it happens to any God-fearing person to go to sleep without having repented of the sin, or the sins, he has committed during the day, and which have tormented his soul, these torments will accompany him the whole night, until he has heartily repented of his sin, and washed his heart with tears (this is also from experience). The torments of sin will wake him up from sweet sleep, because his soul will be oppressed, bound a prisoner by sin.”

How often has the freedom of my spirit been bound by hidden unconfessed sins? Too often, I’m afraid. The Good News is that repentance and confession restores freedom. Our God is gracious, and the power of the Cross is without equal. Jesus has broken the chains of sin, setting us free. Praise his holy Name!

Memory

 May 6, 2021

Memory is a tricky bugger. Someone recently wanted people to date themselves by naming stores that no longer exist. I could picture two in my mind, location and layout, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember their names. About six hours later, the names popped into my head without my bidding: Robert Hall and Noah’s Ark. Why I couldn’t think of them when I wanted to is beyond me.

I admire singers and actors who can remember lines and lyrics to a myriad of songs and plays. It’s a stretch for me to remember a measly three point outline for my sermons. Some years ago at our village History Day celebration, I was asked to give a short devotional and lead in the Lord’s Prayer—not exactly Mensa requirement. Here I am, standing on the porch of the village history museum in front of a hundred or so villagers and visitors, and midway through the Lord’s Prayer, I forget what line comes next. I’m standing there like a silent numbskull, wracking my brain in vain till the organizer of the event leans in close with the right words. Can you imagine the preacher forgetting the Lord’s Prayer? That’s me and my fickle memory.

John Newton, author of Amazing Grace, told of how as a young boy he learned lessons in godliness from his mother, but over and over, he said, “I forgot.” His memory lapses led him to the slave trade, and even managing to become a slave himself before he finally remembered and was converted. I can attest to the fact that it’s when I forget the presence of the Lord through his Holy Spirit that I get myself into trouble, which is why it is so important for me to begin each day remembering—reading Scripture and praying. If I forget this in the morning, I’m apt to forget who I am and who I represent through the day. 

I am grateful tonight for our men’s prayer hour this morning at 6:00 am. With the help of the alarm and Linda’s nudge, I remembered to get up early, and the memory of our time together stayed with me through the day. 

Fishing

 May 5, 2021

Trout season is hard upon us. April first saw a steady stream of fishermen down at the swimming hole, each one hoping to have the right combination to lure that elusive big one out of its hole. Though our stream is stocked, after talking with a number of the hopefuls, I don’t think there were a lot of smiles at the end of the day.

I come from a long line of fishermen. Correction: I come from a long line of worm-drowners. Growing up, summer Saturdays were dedicated to fishing; both grandfathers, my dad, brother, and I would get up early, dig worms out of the bin in the backyard that we had dumped in the wee hours of Friday morning after a night of gathering them from the golf club greens when the sprinklers came on at midnight, and head to the ponds. Anywhere else, these would be called lakes, but along the southern shore of Lake Ontario are a series of small lakes surrounded by cattail marshes. Long Pond, Buck Pond, Cranberry Pond were favored fishing spots for pike, smallmouth bass, and perch. Not that we ever seemed to catch many of them. 

When I went to college, my fishing days became a thing of the past, but I do remember enough to know that success, as elusive as it was for me, depends on knowing the habits of the fish you’re after, knowing their habitat, what they are feeding on at any given time, how the weather affects them, as well as a host of other more ethereal bits of fishy wisdom.

All this floods back when I read Jesus’ words to fishermen Peter and Andrew as he walked along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, calling out, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men!” Something in that invitation must have grabbed their hearts, for they immediately left their nets to become itinerant disciples and eventually, apostles.

It’s the way Jesus said it that intrigues and convicts me. It’s not only a call, but also a promise: If we follow him, he will (not maybe or perhaps) make us fishers of men. The implication is clear: If we’re following, we are also fishing. The reverse is also true: If I’m not fishing, I’m not following. This is where the conviction hits home. I’m pretty much of an introvert; I don’t easily strike up conversations with people, and have to pay special attention to find the key that opens the door to people’s willingness to hear the Gospel. Unfortunately for me, Jesus didn’t qualify his command by limiting it only to extraverts. His statement is unequivocal, which means as much as I’d like to believe I’m following Jesus, if I’m not fishing, I’m not following. 

There’s more: If I am serious about following, I’ll be serious about fishing, which means just like a good trout fisherman studies the flow of the stream, what the trout is feeding on, and how to best present the lure for success, I will study people, learn their ways, where their souls are hungry, and how to present the Gospel for the best possibility of success. Casually tossing my gospel line willy-nilly doesn’t work. And fishing only where it is convenient for me doesn’t cut it. A good fisherman learns where the fish are, and if nothing is biting, pulls his line and goes where they are biting. 

“Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” I haven’t put my line in the water lately, so these words dig deep. Lord, I’ll follow. I’m watching to see how you did it, so I can do the same.

Strength in Weakness

 May 4, 2021

“And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” —II Cor. 12:7-10 

These words from St. Paul launched our pastor’s prayer time this morning. As various individuals prayed, a subtle shift took place; from Paul’s words of weakness, the prayers took on the tone of victory and power, of the Church rising up to conquer the world for Christ. I sat and listened in amazement as we moved away from the plain reading of the text. 

In the ‘70s, Ray Stedman began teaching about what he called Body Life, and wrote a book by that title in which he outlined the importance of exercising one’s spiritual gifts when serving Christ. He almost singlehandedly launched a movement which has influenced countless ministries encouraging Christians to discover their spiritual gifts and to use them to serve. His seminal work spawned spiritual gift inventories and entire programs through which countless Christians have moved. The Church has benefited from much of this, but there have also been some drawbacks, in that while recognizing spiritual gifts, the Gospel never encourages us to minister out of our strengths, but as Paul says, from our weaknesses. 

As various individuals fervently prayed for revival this morning, I wondered if our emphasis on spiritual gifts has prevented the very results we crave. When we serve out of our strengths, though we acknowledge him, we don’t necessarily need the Holy Spirit. We build ministries, genuinely see people’s lives change, but I wonder if we are missing something in the process. When we emphasize spiritual giftedness, we tend to work out of our areas of strength—after all, that’s what the business world and al the self-help gurus tell us we must do. But when we work only our areas of strength, we shut out the person who is struggling, who needs to hear from someone who also struggles with life.

We are too often embarrassed and ashamed of our weaknesses; we hide them from others and even from ourselves. We hesitate to admit our failures, isolating ourselves in our little cocoons where no one can use our weaknesses against us. Sin thrives in such places, and for all our posturing, we know the truth—we are often a hair’s breadth from moral and spiritual collapse. 

What if instead of working from our strengths, we did as Paul did, acknowledging our weaknesses and working from them? Maybe we could give hope to the one struggling with life, And just maybe, God’s power might manifest itself, and the revival for which we long could at last come.

Temptation

May 3, 2021

Matthew 4 records the contest between Jesus and the devil, beginning with the latter’s suggestion that after 40 days of fasting Jesus turn stones into bread. He followed by encouraging Jesus to jump from the pinnacle of the temple so the angels could rescue him and prove to onlookers who he was. The final temptation was a blatant plea for Jesus to bow to him, with the offer of all the kingdoms of the world if he would do so—quite an alluring temptation, as Jesus would by it be able to bypass the cross.

Temptations often begin as they did here, with an appeal to satisfy a legitimate need, but in a way that would be outside God’s plan. For Jesus, it was turning stones into bread; for us it would be a bit more mundane—satisfying sexual needs outside of marriage, or providing for the family through theft or corruption. It often is easy to rationalize our sin, even quoting Scripture to do so, as the devil did. The contest ultimately ends with an appeal to simply surrender to the fulfillment of our desires by any means possible. The operative word here is “surrender.”

I don’t believe the devil came to Jesus in obvious malevolent attire and demeanor, but in the thoughts of his own mind, just as he comes to us. We would run if we recognized him for who he is, but disguised as our own thoughts and feelings, we listen...to our peril. The answer to his machinations is the same for us as it was for Jesus: to be so saturated with Scripture that we not only can quote it, but recognize when it is being twisted and contorted and used against us. Elsewhere, Jesus quoted from the Psalms, saying, “I come to do Thy will, O God.” He was able to resist surrender to the devil because he was already surrendered to the Father. May this be true of me, as well.

Dreams

 May 2, 2021

“I’ve done everything I wanted to do, seen everything I wanted to see.” My boss towered over me with his 6’3” and 300 lb bulk. He had been a bodyguard for someone in the Mafia, traveled, drank, womanized, and now was the manager of the Minute Man gas station. Linda stopped for gas on her way to work one day, crying because she had to leave her job due to pregnancy complications, and Dick told her to have me come in. He had a list of about twenty young men wanting jobs; he tore it up and gave me forty hours a week. He was rough and tough, except for his heart. 

I’m thinking of Dick tonight. In our ‘Ready, Set, Dream’ class, we’ve been listing dreams we have—things big and small we’d like to accomplish some day. When I was younger, I could have easily filled pages, but it’s a bit harder now; unlike Dick, there are plenty of things I’d like to do or see, but realistically, many, if not most of them will never happen. It’s not because they’re impossible; it’s that I don’t really care that much about most of them. I’d like to go back to England some day, but if it comes down to a choice between being a tourist and returning to Cuba for mission work, Cuba will win every time. I’ve had that ‘42 Harley in pieces for twenty years, waiting to be assembled and ridden. Once upon a time, I envisioned myself riding it around; today I just want it out of my garage.

If I’m passionate about anything (besides my wife), it would be Cuba. For the foreseeable future, COVID has shut the door to returning, but the desire is still there, and I do expect to return. Persistence in the face of obstacles is one of the characteristics of a God-given dream. There was a time when I believed if God were in it, barriers would come down and the road would be unobstructed. I’ve learned that the greater the dream, the greater the problems. God is more interested in building our character than accomplishing some great work through us, and problems are his tool of choice in the matter.

I hope I never get to the place my friend Dick was at. With St. Paul, I have learned to be content with where I am, but I don’t expect nor want to get stagnant in it. By the same token, I’ve learned that my dreams are not always God’s plans. I doubt if Moses as a young man dreamed of spending forty years guiding sheep through the wilderness of Midian and another forty doing the same with ex-Egyptian slaves. I can’t envision that being on his bucket list. There are things I would still like to see and do in life, but my real vision is pretty simple—to know Christ better and get better at following him, whether on the mission field in Cuba, or tending my bees here at home. 

Convenient Worship

 May 1, 2021

“That I may come and worship him also.” The Magi had travelled for months across desert, from oasis to oasis till they finally arrived in Jerusalem asking where the Christ was to be born, so they could worship him. Herod pretended to have the same desire, but couldn’t be bothered to join them in the search, instead urging them to go and let him know when they found the Child. His piety was a pretense; he preferred to stay in the comfort of his palace, letting others do the work of searching. Worship which refuses to expend effort is no worship at all, but is merely a pretext concealing a self-centered and narcissistic heart.

Genuine worship implies that the object of reverence is greater than the one who gives it. Herod would bow to no one, maniacally insisting instead that all bow before him. Such worship refuses to yield its rights, insisting instead that the object of worship yield to convenience. A thousand years earlier, David said, “I will not give to the LORD that which has cost me nothing” (2 Samuel 24:24). Convenient worship is in reality a worship of self, not God. Worship is not the same as self-actualization, a means of feeling better, but is a surrender to One greater than myself.

Ultimately such non-worship is deceitful and destructive. It is a lie designed to trick others into doing my will, to make genuine worshippers believe we are of the same mind and heart, when in fact, it will stop at nothing to retain its own power and control. The real worshippers in this story were wise men, indeed, to avoid further contact with this imposter.

Worship must not be deliberately and unnecessarily inconvenient, but neither should it bow to the whim of the soul so narcissistic as to insist that others do the heavy lifting. Tomorrow is Sunday; may we gather not to merely receive God’s blessing, but even more, to give the sacrificial praise and worship the Almighty God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ deserves.